Thru the Valley

Back to work!

2009-03-20T14:43:00.000-04:00

Hi everyone! I thought I’d update you on the latest news. I met with the doctor on March 9th and my counts are still doing well. No sign on Leukemia J having said that, I am now back to work. Yipee!! I really enjoy what I do and I love the people I work with. They have been so welcoming. They gave me flowers and cards and gift cards to Whole Foods. (They’ve read my blog about how I had to change my diet J LoL) I missed them so much.

Physically everything is going well. I’m eating right, exercising and getting my sleep. However, I was going to write an update a few weeks ago and I was going to title it; Crashing and Burning. Emotionally and Spiritually I was doing just that, crashing and burning. If you were to talk to me a few weeks ago you might have wondered if I was the same woman who has written about trusting God and staying focused on Him and being at peace in the midst of trials. At the Ladies’ retreat I went to with my church, the topic was about Choosing Joy. The passage was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances.” Joy is a choice. We can either choose to focus on all that is going wrong that we see from our perspective, or be joyful always by praying continually and giving thanks in all circumstances, knowing that God works all things out for the good of those who love him. He sees things a bit differently and in order for us to choose Joy, we need to pray of course, but also trust God that He knows your needs and we do that when we choose to give thanks in everything. He knows what you can handle. He uses suffering to shape our character and develop Christ like character. If we would do as Psalm 37:4 tells us; “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give to you the desires of your heart.’ we would not be so caught up on the little things, or what we may perceive as big things. Our hearts desires are often misplaced. They are all about comfort, personal gratification, and security as we understand it; money in the bank, a good job, good health. God is talking about so much more not that good health and money in the bank aren’t important, but they should not be the primary center of out attention. Things are temporary. Life is fleeting. Hearts that desire knowing God and loving him first and foremost, leave a legacy and impact eternity. In my last update I mentioned wanting to leave a Legacy for my family and those who God brings into my life. If I’m so wrapped up in how I look or don’t look, if I have a job or the job I want, If we have money or not coming in, whether or not I get to go here or do this or that, then I miss out on what Life is really about. Loving God and loving others. Living out of an understanding of Gods grace for me and how I impart that grace to others. Growing in peace and coming alongside my family and then others in learning how to follow Christ, forgetting what is behind and pressing forward. Being joyful always in everything, knowing that we only have today and how we choose to live impacts us, those in our life and ultimately eternity. Be at rest. Take time to smell the roses so to speak. Slow down, think before you speak. Don’t live your life complaining about the things you cannot change, but embrace each day with a new perspective, God’s.

I can’t say this way of living comes naturally. I’m a perfectionist, and I was the one with a list of complaints just a few weeks ago, but God gave me a kick in the butt by a few people and reminded me that I was not choosing Joy and I was wasting my life and negatively impacting those around me and destroying my witness for Christ. Uggh!! What’s the name of that song by “Point of Grace” something like “It’s How You Live”? Anyway, I’m not sure about the song title, but those words are in the song and it should be the title, LOL. I do not want to go backwards and forget all that God has done for me and not be full of gratitude that I am alive and have a second lease on life. When we find ourselves backsliding, we simply repent and turn back to the Lord and move forward each day putting on our armor against doubt and fear and discouragement and stand firm and Know Your God and His purposes!!

Love you all!! Thank you for your continued prayers, support and encouragement.

~Edie

First Follow-up Appointment Results!

2009-02-07T20:00:00.003-05:00

Okay, I know I haven't updated in a while. A few of you have brought it to my attention :-) I usually need to be inspired to write, but there are some good news updates to share! I had my first follow-up appointment with my oncologist. They took lab work and all my counts are great!! In fact, they are better than they have ever been. The doctor said I could go back to work part time to start. Yipee!! I must say that I was a bit nervous going. I really did not want to hear that it had returned. I'm thankful for another day. Praise God! I feel really good. I'm getting back some of my stamina and strength. My hair is slowly growing in, and yes, I have a little curl in the back. :-) hehehe. I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. However, I do have a new outlook on life; Don't take it for granted; enjoy each day, relationships are a priority, and follow God passionately.

In my last post, I mentioned being on a new leg to my journey. I think this leg is harder. I know that sounds odd, but there was some security in knowing that there was a plan for the next six months of my life. It might not have been the plan I would have chosen, but none the less my life was completely in God's hands and I was trusting in Him and knowing that he was at work in and through the doctors who were treating me, and for six months they had mapped out my life, so to speak. It seems that its easier for me to Trust God in the big things that seem completely out of my hands, but in the day to day things, in the what's next? things, the things I have a little control over well that's another story. I'm very impatient, controlling at times :-), and can be very passionate about stuff. (Okay, laugh now, those of you who know me well) I'm ready to begin my life again and God is reminding me to slow down. I have people in my life sitting on me to make sure I don't take on too much too soon. I want to know what God wants me to do with the rest of my life. When can I return to active ministry? How much should I work? I don't want to slack on being a good wife and mother. I want them to feel that I gave them my first fruits. I'm very concerned with how to live. I have a second lease on life and I'm not sure how long that lease will be so I want to make the most of it. I want to leave a legacy. I want them to feel I chose love over deeds, I want people to know that God is and my all in all. I hope that I have pointed others to Christ. Nicole Nordman wrote a song called "Legacy" , that's what I want to leave with my family and friends and those God has put in my path.
I think it was last Sunday, that my pastor Marty, was preaching on 1Kings 18 about Elijah having this great prayer battle with the baal prophets. They each made alters and were to call upon their god. The baal prophets had no luck. Their gods couldn't make the alter get fire under it. Elijah even mocked them asking if their god was taking a nap or perhaps going to the bathroom. Then Elijah prayed to the Lord of heaven and earth, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Yes, God showed up, fire lit the alter even though it had been saturated with water, the people destroyed the baal idols and prophets and killed them. God did this amazing miracle and Elijah had the faith to ask and all were amazed and worshiped God. Here's the funny thing, in Chapter 19 Elijah is on the run because the King's wife Jezebel is so angry at what Elijah did that she sent word to him that she was going to have him killed and Elijah is afraid of this woman's power. What?? He just had faith to ask God to display his power and might before hundreds of baal prophets and city folk and then God answered his prayer and performed the miracle and then next thing we hear is he's on the run because he's scared of a woman. WOW! ... The cool thing is God was gracious to Elijah even though he feared and did not continue to be so bold. God fed him, gave him protection from the heat of the desert and then called him back to his next mission to anoint a couple of Kings and the next prophet for the purpose of destroying baal worship. Before sending him God asked Elijah what he was doing, not once but a couple of times. Like, Helllooo Elijah, what on earth are you doing? Why so afraid? Why so despondent? I just answered your prayer and performed a mighty miracle, did you forget?( that's my personal interpretation of his question- what are you doing?) LOL. That is me, I saw God do this great thing and He brought me through my treatments and I'm alive and well. How could I doubt God's love for me or his faithfulness or his ability to provide and work all things out for my good? Why would I fear about my future? Unfortunately I do sometimes. The keyword being sometimes. Even people of great faith like Elijah can get overwhelmed and wonder what next? Then there are times when I remember what God has done and stand firm and know God is at work and I need to keep on praying and watch and see His handy work in my life and my families. Prayer is the other keyword. The bible tells us we don't have because we don't ask. We don't see answers to prayers, because we are not praying!!! This week God has led me to pray about a few things that I had concerns about and guess what. He gave me clarity, peace, direction. Go figure :-)

Okay, enough for today. I will see the doctor again March 2nd. I hope to be back at work very soon, and as God leads me or updates in my health arise, I will update again. Hope to talk to you soon!

Love, Edie

One leg of the Journey is Over and a New One Begins

2009-01-09T08:26:00.003-05:00

I made it through my last round of chemo without any complications. No fevers or more hospital stays. My counts came up just a few days before Christmas and I was able to enjoy the holidays with my family. Praise God! One leg of the journey is now over and a new one has begun. My treatments are done and now I get tested monthly and seen by the doctor. My hope is to be back at work by February and to have my strength up. I'm still easily fatigued, but seeing progress. My hemoglobin was still very low on Dec 29th when I had my last visit to the doctors. That's probably one of the leading factors for my fatigue other than the fact that my body has had a beating for the last 6 months. Oh! and they pulled my picline out then too. Yipee! no more tubes hanging out of my arm :-)

I started my blog just over six months ago stating that this was my journey through the valley of Leukemia to the green pastures of remission and increased faith. Well, I'm in remission and my faith has definitely been increased. I have learned so much about my self, God, my family and my church. I won't begin to list all the things I've learned, but I feel that I have been truly blessed by this experience with Leukemia. I've experienced such love and encouragement from everyone that it has impacted my faith and understanding of God's love for me in such a way that words cannot express. I noticed the title of the Ladies Retreat my church does each year. This years title is " A joyful journey". My journey was a joyful one. Although this journey challenged my health, faith, marriage, children, family, work and ministry, I had a peace and joy in the midst of my trials. The journey through the valley of the Shadow of Death was not one without its challenges, there were wolves and robbers and rocks and difficult terrain and darkness, but those sheep could rest assure that their Shepherd was in control and they would make it through the valley to the other side where there was green pasture. The sheep that knew their shepherds voice, obeyed and stayed close to the shepherd experienced peace and security. The sheep that were skittish and wondered off easily experienced fear and confusion. Each of us have a choice to choose to get to know and trust God through our journey in life and experience hope and peace and joy even in hard times, which the bible promises we will have, or we can choose not to trust, to go it our own way and depend on ourselves and often experience fear and disappointment and hopelessness, like there's no end or way out when hard times hit us.

Do you like roller coasters? I've shared my passion for a good roller coaster. I've also compared our journey to that of a roller coaster. We can enjoy the ride or fight it all the way. It depends on your outlook. Is it one of fear or one of faith? What will we do when we are challenged with storms and trials? I must confess that I have my moments and I'm not super-human in how I handle the stress in my life, but they are that; moments. This is a daily discipline. It's a process. It does not come naturally. When I'm overwhelmed, I cannot allow myself to sit in fear. I must confess it and look up and be reminded of who God is, what He says He will do, and Who I am in Christ. I couldn't imagine how hard this journey would have been if I had allowed myself to focus on my fears or the what if's. It sure would not have been a joyful one. Praise God that he gave me the strength and wisdom to know that He is ultimately in control and that He loves me and works all things out for my good and His glory. This statement is true and what I believe and therefore will continue to live by it day by day. It needs to impact how I see every aspect of my life, marriage, children, family, work, ministry; that is the process part.

So my new journey has begun. Eat right, Uggh. exercise, and most importantly seek God first and slow down. This leg might be harder than the last. LOL

Love you all! Have a Blessed New Year!

~Edie

Last Round of Chemo update

2008-12-17T16:22:00.002-05:00

Hi Everyone!
I had my last round of chemo in the hospital from the 1st thru the 6th. I came home late that Saturday night. Yipee! I was bored and antsy to get home and be with my family. I've been nutrapenic for the past week. So far no fevers and hospital stays. Thanks for praying. I should be out of the nutrapenic stage in a few days. I have a very low grade fever today. Please pray that I make it through without needing to go to the hospital. Uggh!! It has been great to be home this time. I've been able to see the girls and talk to them and be more in touch and available to them for whatever they need except for taking them around town. Jim gets that job. LOL

Thanks again to everyone who has continued to provide meals for us during this difficult time. The family has enjoyed them.

We had a healing service on the 7th at church and I managed to go before my white cell counts dropped. Prior to going God gave me Mark 10 in the bible. I don't have my bible near me so I can't remember the exact verses for you but its at the end of the chapter where the blind beggar asked Jesus to heal him. The blind man had faith the Jesus could heal. He asked for it. He got up from where he was and went to Jesus. Jesus asked him what he wanted, like He didn't know, but it was important for the blind beggar to ask. The blind beggar asked for his sight and His faith made him well. I believe God wanted to remind me that I first needed the faith, but also needed to ask. We sometimes wonder why God doesn't help us, but we never go to him in faith and ask. I asked that I would be able to stay home from the hospital during this last nutrapenic stage. Praise God ! Its almost over and I'm still home. I've never made it so long without a fever or needing to go to the hospital during this stage. Well, except for one early on. What a great God we have that he wants us to go to him with our needs and concerns. He wants a personal connection. This Christmas season be blessed to know we have a savior who loves us and is concerned about our needs and he was born on Christmas day!

Love,
Edie

Overwhelmed With Blessings

2008-11-21T13:01:00.004-05:00

"Overwhelmed with blessings" was the title of the devotional I read yesterday. It really sums up how I feel. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful family and incredible friends. My brothers hosted a benefit dinner for us this past Saturday. I know many of you were there but for those who weren't and those who were, I want you all to know what a blessing it was to me and my family. There were about 250 people. The love and generosity that was given has touched my heart and overwhelmed me. It is still kind of surreal. Some of you have asked if the account is going to remain open. Yes, we are keeping it open for a while for anyone who might be led to donate. Thank you to all who made donations. I really feel blessed and loved my your support. I pray that you would be doubly blessed in return for your generosity and faithfulness.

This has been a good week physically. I'm feeling stronger and am trying to build up my endurance and nutrition in preparation for this last treatment. Please pray it goes well, with no complications. The last treatment is known as the most difficult due to how weak my body is going into it as a result of the previous Chemo treatments. I will be in the hospital for treatments from the 1st through about the 6th. I'm praying its my last inpatient hospitalization and I don't go back in when I'm nutrapenic. :-)

Many of you have asked me how I can be so positive, or not complain about having Leukemia. I have my moments, as we all do, but I always go back to the hope I have in Christ. There is no reason for me to fear life or death. I know that God is in control of all things, including me having Leukemia. I'm not saying he gave me Leukemia, but what I am saying is that He allowed it and is using it in my life for much greater purposes. God has been teaching me so much about himself, myself, and is working in the lives of others through this as well. I have even been able to encourage and minister to others as a result of the Leukemia in ways I never would have been able to. Here's the thing; If I die, I will be in heaven with my savior with no sorrow or fears, etc... He loves my daughters and husband and will take care of them and will use it for their good and His glory as he promises in Romans 8:28-29. However, I do not believe that is God's plan for me at this time. Rather, I believe he has a greater purpose for me to accomplish and that is living out my faith for Him in such a way that it brings others to know Him more. I'm sorry, but you will still be overcome with fear and anxiety about the stresses in your life unless you Know God. I'm not talking about knowing who he is but really knowing Him in a personal relationship like you have with your best friend. Many of you might be stressed out over finances, or raising your kids (teenagers especially) , your health or the health of a loved one, but whatever it may be, there is a God who says to cast ( throw) your burdens on Him, because he loves you. His burden is light. When I hold onto my fears and worries I'm sure to be overcome by them unless I ask God to take them. He promises to help you. He promises to strengthen and give you hope. He promises to protect and defend. He promises all of these things to those who Love Him. When you love God, you put him first. You say, I trust you and will follow you all of my days. You acknowledge that His way is better, He knows better than you. You stop looking at your circumstances from your small perspective and begin to see things from God's point of view, which is a much larger perspective. You begin to see His purposes and your peace that surpasses all understanding guards your heart against doubts and fears and worry. I have referred to many verses from the Bible. 2 Peter 5:7, Phil 4:6-8, Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 41:10-11, John 15: 5-11. I encourage you to look them up. Memorize them, think on them and let them comfort you or give you a new hope. This is where I find my strength. This is where I get my perspective on life and death and love. This is where I find peace in the midst of a storm or a valley of the shadow of death.

Be Blessed!
Love, Edie

Feeling a little better

2008-11-07T10:03:00.011-05:00

Hi Everyone! Thank You for your prayers and support!
It's been a long hard road the last few weeks. I did come home on Tuesday, but I spiked another fever by that afternoon. The good news was that I did not need to go back to the hospital, because I was no longer nutrapenic and less at risk. The bad news was I was still stuck to my bed. I feel like I've been on a short leash and the furthest it reaches is to the bathroom and my bed. My back hurts and my chest is tight when I take a deep breath because my lungs haven't had a chance to fully expand because I've been stuck to my bed. My legs have needed rubbing so they don't clot. My fevers broke on Thursday. The highest it got on Thursday was 99.4 which is not bad. Today has been a good start. No fevers! I might even try venturing out of my house. I really need to walk around to let my lungs recover and gets some circulation going again. I think the hardest part is not being able to get things done and do things with the girls and needing to be so dependent on everyone else.
It has been a frustrating and sometimes scary time, but God is still showing me my issues of control and need to surrender to His will. That being said, I have full confidence in His faithfulness, His provision, and protection of my family, but its a daily reminding myself of the Truth of Who God is and What He promises to do. Its a that moment I can surrender and Know that God is good all the time. Its then that I am reminded that He is in control and I don't need to be, what I need to be is dependant on Him. There are so many unknowns and a variety of mini-crisis going on in my life but I see God at Work and its okay. Most of you know how music is a big part of my life. God uses it often to speak to me. Sara Groves has a song called "He's always been faithful". Its such a beautiful song I wish I knew how to put a link on my blog with that song for you to hear. There's a line in there where she says " this is my anthem, this is my song...." referring to His faithfulness, that is how I feel. I met Sara Groves once. I took Julia to see her in concert on her birthday. We were front row, it was awesome. I had a friend who was sort of related to Sara and we were invited back to meet her. She shared her life verse with Julia which happens to be mine so I have always felt a kindred spirit to Sara, her music really speaks to me. If your now wondering what the verse is, its Isaiah 41:9-10 You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth and called from its remotest parts. And said to you " You are my servant. I have chosen you and not rejected you. Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Have a blessed Day!
Love, Edie

Another 'Visit' to Penn

2008-11-03T06:23:00.003-05:00

Edie has been at Penn for a few days. She went in Thursday night and needed several pints of blood (since her hemoglobin was at 6) along with a few units of platlettes (since that was at 2). She had some type of infection in her mouth which she said won't go away until her counts come back up. Later in the day, on Saturday, they thought that she might have the shingles. I found out last night that it was not the shingles! She is in a lot of pain and the medication is making her sleepy. She was in a room with a pretty view of the city skyline. She is in another which she was excited about since she has her own microwave and exercise bike (which she commented that she wouldn't be able to use until the nausea went away).

She is hoping to come home on Tuesday to continue the recovery from this round of Chemo. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.
Respectfully, She is in 7008.
Faith

Home from the hospital

2008-10-23T14:22:00.003-04:00

Hi Everyone! It's good to be home from the hospital. My stay was brief and uncomplicated. Everything seemed to go smoothly with the Chemo. My counts will drop sometime over the week-end and that's when I'll feel the effects of the Chemo. They say this round and the next one are more difficult because my body is so run down. Please pray for a fever free recovery without any complications. It takes about 20 days for my counts to recover, I'm counting the days and they haven't even began. LOL I hate having to stay put and being so tired all the time.
Tuesday night I stopped by Commerce to visit my friends from work. It was great to see everyone! The famous questions were "How was I feeling? and When was I coming back?" If I could be there yesterday I would. I miss work. I like what I do, I like the people, and the money is much better than collecting disability, which is like half your pay. Ugghh. I am really looking forward to recovering from my last round and getting on with life again. However, I do have some new perspectives, hard learned patience and a dependency on seeking God's direction for my life and not my own. I'm so stubborn and driven that I didn't even listen to my bodies warning signs that I was sick.
In life we can get so caught up with our own goals and dreams that we have side blinders to what God's goals and dreams are for us. We can pursue good things that turn into bad things for our health or marriage or kids, etc... because we focused on what we want and not the bigger picture. For instance; we could be driven to be financially successful, but in the race for success and financial freedom our relationships begin to suffer. We spend less time investing in the people in our lives; our marriage begins to suffer if not crumble, our kids begin to disrespect and detach and learn the independent way void of wise counsel and guidance, and we find ourselves with fewer friends, if we even have the time for them. Lastly, our own health begins to reap what we've sown and suffers as well.
I've been thinking about some of the goals and dreams I have and what to do develop them; A joy filled passionate marriage, Kids who communicate well and are educated and have a heart for following Christ in all the areas of their lives. Continued opportunity for youth ministry development and financial freedom. There have been times when the order of these priorities and goals where way out of sink. Balance is important, taking care of your health is important, daily following God for direction on how to accomplish these goals and dreams is extremely vital to the mission. If there is one theme I've gotten from God it is Relationships first. My first relationship is with God and all else filters out from there. Matt 6:33 But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." What was being talked about in reference to all these things, was the things I mentioned. What we worry about; money, clothes, prosperity, health, etc....But God knows we need those things, He wants a relationship with us first. Seek Him First and the rest will fall into place. Read Matt 6:19-34 for a fuller picture.
Love, Edie

Brief Stay at the Hospital

2008-10-18T09:46:00.009-04:00

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I don't update more often :-( My computer has been on the fritz lately and I haven't been feeling the greatest either. About a week and a half ago I had low grade fevers that kept me in my bed. I didn't start feeling good until last Saturday. I ventured out to a fall festival my daughters school was having; I lasted about an hour and a half and came home and napped the rest of the day. LOL Since then I've been feeling better, just tired. I needed two blood transfusions when I got to the hospital for my Chemo stay, that would account for the tiredness :-) The Chemo is going well so far. My picline is a little irritated though. Please pray that it clears up so that they don't pull it again. Ugggh! I would hate to have another line put in. I only have one more round of Chemo in December. Yipee! The picline is important because its how I get the Chemo, but its also necessary if I get nutrapenic fevers and need to be hospitalized like I've been in the past. These next two rounds could be more difficult and all the more reason for me to have a line in. I will be nutrapenic by next weekend and it will not pass for about two weeks or so. Please pray that I make it through without fevers and needing to me hospitalized.

God is always teaching me something if I'm willing to listen. haha. I'm in a shared room and not the window side. The woman I'm sharing my room with is very sick with liver cancer. (Pray for her, she doesn't have a lot of treatment options from the sounds of it.) Okay, so my point was that when I first learned I was in a shared room, I wasn't happy. I can be a bit high maintenance. ( another humbling confession, LOL) I did not want to share a room or a bathroom. I wipe down the room and am crazy meticulous in my own room! How am I going to deal seeing someone else's specimens in the bathroom, etc....? I wanted out and then heard a small voice say to me that this will build character and I could minister to this woman. Of Course! I'm so selfish sometimes. I want to minister to who I want, when I want, and where I want. God calls us to join Him where He is at work. As I looked at how pathetic my thinking was I thought how would God be able to put me anywhere to minister if I have so many demands and special needs (comfort, ease, safety, cleanliness, etc..) Well, that's called stinkin thinkin. Anyway, its been a pleasure to share my room. I have tried to encourage this woman. I have shared my new diet with her husband, and I have prayed for her when I hear her suffering.

I don't want to miss out on anything God is trying to teach me. Leukemia has only been a catalyst for God to get at the real issues in my heart. Have you ever let God at the real issues in your heart???

Love, Edie

Blessed but bored!

2008-10-07T13:53:00.001-04:00

This past week I've been more tired than I'd like to be. I go back in on October 16th for another round of Chemo. If all goes well I'll be home from the hospital by the 21st. When I have this time at home and I'm not neutropenic I want to get so much done and do so many things with the girls and Jim and friends, but I'm slowed down by my health. Ugghh. It's not easy when your what I've been called; Super A type personality. I tried to walk on the treadmill today at 3.0 speed and barely lasted 5 minutes I was soooo out of breath. LOL So, I'll take it slower and plan out visits with friends and make sure I nap before hand :-) Saturday night Jim and I went out with friends for dinner and then they came back to play Phase 10 until 11pm. I was so excited I lasted, of course I did nap for 2.5 hours before we went out. Ha ha ha.
I met this incredible nurse, Tonya on my doctors visit Thursday. She was such an blessing to me. She encouraged me and spoke prophetically to me and prayed over me right there in the office! God is using this forced rest to teach me many things and has brought several people in my life to support what God is doing in my life. As I mentioned in my last update, I have felt major pruning and God prompting me to give up somethings I was holding on to. On this leg of the journey HE's been teaching me about forgiveness and surrender. I have always thought of myself as very forgiving, but I struggle with surrender. When you think you can do it all and your way is the right way its not easy to surrender to another plan. ( a major confession, LOL :-) This has been a major turning point in my journey. My forgiveness for someone was wrapped up in my need to surrender to God what God's call on my life is and that it really is better than mine. He has my plans in there but after I surrender to somethings I felt justified to hold onto and angered to think of letting them go. I was comfortable eating onions and living in slavery so to speak, a reference to the Israelites when they were complaining and wanted to go back to Egypt not long after being rescued and being told they would enter the promised land. How dumb is that! I came across a song by the Barlow Girls that has really spoken to my heart and tells my story in this part of the journey. It has made me want to sing again and play my guitar. ( so my jamming friends, please feel free to visit so we can play again :-)
Here are the the lyrics to Here's My Life by the Barlow Girls. "Once again I said my goodbyes... To those I love most.. My heart feels that familiar pain.. As I long for home.. Cause this road is hard.. When I feel so far.. God I'm crying out tonight... Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind.. So once more here's my life...
On the day that You called my name... All that I knew changed.. I found when I said yes, that I'd never be the same... Though the Call is hard... You are worth it all.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind... So once more here's my life.. Even when the tears are falling.. When I find I fear the Calling.. You remind me.. Words you've spoken over my life.. Promises I've yet to see.. You comfort me.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind. .. So once more here's my life.... You comfort me...."

Hope you have a Blessed day!
Love,
~Edie

Made it through the Neutropenic Stage

2008-09-29T12:49:00.004-04:00

Sorry I haven't updated since the 12th, but I really have had a rough time of it lately. I came home from the hospital with my new picline on the 17th and then tried to prepare for Megan's 15th Birthday. I told her she could have a few friends over that Saturday the 20th. It was a great party, more kids that I expected though. I gave Meg a hard time of it, although I shouldn't have, everyone had fun and they were a great group of kids. I thought my counts would still be up and I would still have strength. I was more frustrated I couldn't enjoy it as much because I was weak. I was an idiot and raked for a few minutes Saturday morning and well... caused my pickline to begin leaking a little and that was the beginning of a scary time. Neutropenia came a little sooner and I need some transfusions on Tuesday. They saw my pickline and informed me if the redness got worse we would have to pull it and of course if I got a fever Iwas to come right into the ER. Ughh. From Tuesday night to Friday night I battled low grade fevers. I'm supposed to go to the ER with anything over 100.4 but the doctor let me slide knowing I did not want to be at the hospital. He raised the limit to 101.1 I actually hit that on Thursday, but drank a couple of bottles of water, called out to some prayer warrior friends and waited a half hour to check my temp. Praise God! it went down to 100.1 Yipee I stayed home and my fever teetered around 100.3 on Friday but by Saturday morning I was back around 97.6 . All week I ate nothing but whole foods, drank lots of water and took juice plus supplements. I guess there's something to this way of eating that made a difference. I stayed home and was able to fight off the fevers on my own. I'm sold!
In addition to being bound to my bed fighting fevers, I've been on an emotional roller coaster facing hard questions about what I've done with my life thus far; have I been a good mother? good wife? OOOOH they are tough things to look at and see my failures and wonder was there enough good. Natalie Grant's song the Real Me has been a comfort to me, and a good friend recommended Jim read for me Psalm 86. I had him read it over and over. You know the verse where Jesus says "deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me."(Matt 16:24) Its more like die to self which is very painful, but it promises to yield something more beautiful His work in our life and plan, which is GOOD. He Loves us and wants the best for us, just like we do for our own kids. I'm holding on to the more beautiful. I'm trusting that the vine dresser knows how to shape me into something beautiful, because he's cut off some of my branches.. even ones that had some fruit. (John 15) I'm going to follow His lead because mine hasn't always been good fruit. I can't promise it will be easy, but I'm pressing on.

Love, Edie

Third round of Chemo

2008-09-12T16:01:00.007-04:00

Thank you for your encouraging comments about the Bald and the Beautiful. haha . It was fun doing it :-)

I'm back in the hospital with my third round of Chemo. There are two left to go. December can't come fast enough, but it won't be until January that I start getting my strength back. I was dreading coming here this week. I've experienced some nausea and tiredness, but the worst part was that I needed to have a pickline put back in my arm. Its a little traumatizing for me. I was taking a stand against it, but my doc and the nurse just had to remind me that when I become neutropenic again, its a serious time. If I get a fever and they can't get the meds in me soon enough over a pickline, that would not be good. People die during the neurtopenic fevers and I don't plan on doing that, God Willing. I do believe God has shown me an old way to eat, but its very new to me. The more I learn about Whole Foods Cooking the more I'll pass on or give you resources to learn what could change around so many health issues like Cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc...

The past week was a bit rough and I was not up for updating my posts. I was taken further into the Valley of the Shadow of Death; figuratively speaking :-) But really I'm there. At first the fear was too much. I don't want to be broken, I'm not sure if I'm going the right direction. I know the Shepherd is reaching out for me, but it looks so dark and hard of a road to travel. The light on the other side is so far away. How do I do this? That's the first thing God answers, It's not your strength but mine, I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Light, rely on me and you will get to the other side and experience the blessings that have been waiting for you, if you want to come along and receive them. I have a choice to follow what I know is Right and best for me, why would I choose anything less. In my devotional for that day, I read Luke 5:5 Returning to your Failure , September 9th in the Experiencing God day by day , written by Henry Blackaby Here is a brief excerpt from it; "No one knows how to help you in your times of failure as Jesus does! He will not overlook your shortcomings or simply encourage you to do better the next time. He will give you victory in the midst of your failure.......................Jesus often gets you undivided attention when you fail. He sometimes takes you back to your placed of defeat in order to build something good into your life. You may assume Ye must not want you to continue because you failed so miserable in your attempt. Perhaps your problem was that you relied on your own strength instead of the Master's. Maybe you failed in a relationship. Jesus will not allow you to abandon it; He will help you learn from your failure and experience the difference He can make when He guides your relationships. Whey you try in God's strength, you may discover that success is indeed within your grasp. If you have recently experienced failure, you may be on the brink of receiving a profound revelation from God!" I closed the book and said "Shut Up" Why would I say such a thing? I'm very stubborn and God cleary spoke to my heart and was telling me I needed to surrender my heart to His, and I actually had to wrestle with it. Go figure! Just so you know, I'm not wrestling with it so much now, but its a hard process, like the refiners fire, or the gardener pruining their crop, or being carried through the valley of the shadow of death. There is a dying involved any way you look at it, but the end result is something Beautiful.

Love hearing from you all! Thanks for your support and prayers!
~Edie

Feeling Giddy

2008-09-05T10:14:00.005-04:00

I'm laughing at myself today. I can't believe I'm watching videos on grocery shopping and cooking whole foods and liking it. Thanks Heather for the resources! I bought Christina Pirello's book "Cooking the Whole Foods Way" and I couldn't put it down. She is a survivor of Leukemia. Her leukemia was even more aggressive than mine and she was given 9-12 months to live 24 years ago. She did not receive chemo but began eating a macrobiotic diet consisting of lots of organic vegi's and fruits. I feel so encouraged by her story which is similar to so many others that I've heard, particularly one in our church family, Beth Schroeder. I'm going over Beth's tonight so she can do a little show and tell with some of the ingredients and vegi's I've never heard of. I really don't cook to begin with so this is Huge for me.
As I mentioned, I also posted a couple of new pictures:-) Thank You Andrea Busam for your beautiful photography work. One is my bald head and the other is a wig I had made to match my hair cut and color before I lost my hair. I usually wear a baseball cap or go bald, but the wig is great for special occasions. I want to encourage other women who are either going through treatment or may some day find themselves diagnosed with cancer and fearing the mark of beauty; their hair. Please note BALD IS BEAUTIFUL. I've heard that said by a few. You can be bald and beautiful. First remember beauty is from within and shines out! My shiny head is glowing with a peace and contentment that God has placed from within.
I will try to stay updated again. I go back in for my next round of Chemo on September 11th. I've been doing some moderate exercise to try and help build up my stamina. This journey has been full of emotions, trials and laughter. Right now I feel I'm on the part of the roller coaster that drops and you through your hands up and laugh and scream all the way down. Maybe its the increased endorphins from exercise.... Maybe it's God!
Love You! Have a Blessed Day :-)
~Edie

Quick Update

2008-09-04T20:05:00.003-04:00

Hello Everyone!
Well, we enjoyed our mini-vacation at the shore. I did not go on the wave runner; though tempting. My body and mind aren't matching. I'm ready to go full steam ahead, but my body is a slow as snail. LOL... That being said, I have done some research and have been talking to several people about nutrition and recovery. I have found that this past round of chemo was more difficult than I anticipated and now I don't look forward to the next three. The recovery has been slower this time. There is much evidence to support nutrition as a very powerful resource for overcoming great odds and beating cancer. It will also help me recover quicker and provide me with more energy and strength through each coming round of chemo. The hard part is that I need to cut sugar out of my diet, and that includes white flour products. I also need to eat lots and lots of vegi's and fruits. Those of you who know me well, know how hard this will be for me. I love sugar. I'm a sugar addict. I start my day with a large coke from McD's and move on to tastey cakes! Don't ask me why I'm still moderately thin eating that way, but the last two years its been catching up with me. Obviously.... I have leukemia. So pray for me, because it is very hard for me to eat this way even though my life counts on it. I can't seem to get my brain to connect that I have a life threatening illness and I need to take care of what I put in my body . I still live like I'm invincible. .. Go figure.... Although there's something to be said about a positive attitude, there is also a healthy respect of life and its mortal realities. God is in control, but we should not take it for granted.. He has provided us with His creation to eat and take care of our bodies. Just because we trust God to protect or heal us does not mean we go and drink or do drugs or jump off a cliff..... We need to act responsibly and take care of our temple that He dwells in and live in obedience to God under the umbrella of His protection. This, I need to remind my self is very relevant to eating to live not living to eat.

TTYS Love, Edie
ps( I took some photo's of me bald :-) I intend on posting them as a way to encourage other cancer survivors that Bald is Beautiful and not to be discouraged when they lose their hair.. more on that later)

Catching Up

2008-08-24T14:36:00.003-04:00

Hi Everyone!

It's good to be home. I wish I could say I have rested, but I've been trying to finish up the last loose ends preparing for the first day of school for Megan and Julia. We have had fun doing it though :-)
I'm still in a lot of pain, but not the level I experienced in the hospital. Pray for a speedy recovery. We are taking a mini vacation down the shore in my brothers place for a few days next week. The good thing is now that my pickline is out, I can enjoy the beach and ocean. The bad thing is if I'm not fully healed from my infections, it will limit some of my activities. Julia wants me to take her out on a wave runner, and I only know one speed; Full Throttle! LOL

Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. This last round has been more testing to my endurance and has caused me to not look forward to the next three. I have also had the normal life stresses weighing heavy on my heart. However, I know God is faithful. Trusting God is not something that comes naturally, its a discipline. We can choose to go it alone or give it to God. We need to continually remind ourselves of Who God is, What He has done for you in the past, and What He Promises to do. This is a daily process. Sometimes I find it easier to trust God in the big things and want to hold on to the little things that I feel I have more control over. Any of you do the same? If you know the story of the Israelites, then you know that we are not alone. They witnessed big miracles from God but when trouble or famine would set in they would forget Who God is and What He has done and promised to do. Don't lose hope when you doubt, but instead take some time to renew your mind and set your eyes upward and look to Christ. It will change your perspective and renew your hope and give you new strength to press on.
Love you all!
~Edie

Released - Last Night

2008-08-21T07:36:00.002-04:00

A quick update ...

I got a text message from Edie last night and she is now at home again. Her counts came back up (I believe white cells) and in conjunction with that the fevers have stopped. Her pain level had also dropped from a 10 to a 5. Soooo ... last night they let her go home. Once I actually get to talk to her I will post more.

Keep on praying - things to keep in mind as you do ... that she will feel better and can be there(physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) for the girls as they start school the first week of September, (I know that Jim took them back to school shopping), getting to a point where she feels good for a bit before she has to go back for the next round of chemo, peace, strength.

Respectfully,
Faith

A New Room

2008-08-16T08:01:00.003-04:00

Edie has been moved to room 3001. I chatted with her yesterday. Her fevers have been high, with chills and bodyaches. They removed the picline and have started her on antibiotics since they still believe that is where the infection was. Since the picline was removed she has her IV pole back. She has had some blood and platelet transfusions since she was admitted. She is slighty bored.

Respectfully,

Faith

At the Hospital

2008-08-15T07:50:00.003-04:00

I got a text message late last night from Edie. She is back at the hospital. She developed a fever "they are troubleshooting where the infection is. It might be the picline in my arm." In addition to the fever she was suffering from a migraine. She is in Rhoads 4 room 11. She thinks she will be there about a week. I am sure that I will hear more today and will let you all know as soon as I do ... assuming that there aren't thunder storms taking out our net!

Respectfully,

Faith

Good to be Home

2008-08-07T19:35:00.005-04:00

It's been good to be home again. I am continually thankful for the love and support that my family and church family have been blessing me with:-)

Today the nurse came out to take labs and teach me how to give my self an injection. I was not real keen on learning how to stick my self with a needle. I'm a bit squimish with that stuff and tend to pass out. Good thing is I got through it and it wasn't too bad. I have to do it for 15 days. I could not imagine being diabetic and needing to do that everyday. Ughh. After dinner this evening I noticed my arm was sore than I realized every inch of me was sore, a side effect of the medicine I'm injecting to be a counteract to the Chemo side effects. I guess they exchange one evil for another lesser kind. Who knows..... LOL. Tylenol should help though. I've also began to feel a little tired, but no fevers, nausea or infections. Praise God!

2 Peter 1:3-5 " As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive his own glory and goodness! And by that same mighty power, he has given us all of his rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in his divine nature. So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better." (NLT) - Take some time to get to know Jesus better. It's Jesus that gives us all we need, we just forget that His power is at work within us and for us. Don't get stuck trying to not be anxious, or doing your best to follow God on your own strength. He has already given you all you need, just rest in His power and know His goodness and believe God is who he says he is and does what He says; Comforter, Counselor, Healer, Provider, Protector, All Powerful, Strong Tower, etc... You know what I mean.

Love,
~Edie

Getting to Recover at Home This Time Around

2008-08-05T20:24:00.005-04:00

I’m so excited to be coming home tonight. Although it’s late, it’s thrilling to know I will get to sleep in my own bed without interruptionsJ Tonight is my last treatment for this round of Chemo. I’m not neutropenic yet, that will come in a few days and last for about 2 weeks. Neutropenic means that my white blood cells are extremely low and I am very vulnerable to infections and experience fatigue and maybe some nausea and other common side effects from the Chemo. This treatment has been at a higher dose than last and I did have some nausea the other day, but the meds helped. Overall, my stay at the hospital has been uneventful. In fact, I’ve been quite bored. I read two books, did several puzzles, and watched a little TV. I took another walk today to PotBelly’s because my lunch was not desirable. The line at PotBelly’s was so long that I went over to McDonald’s instead. I haven’t had greasy junk food in a long time. It was more appetizing than my prepared lunch, but I think it will be a while before I do that again. LOL.

Thank you Jeanne K, Brianne G, and Lisa B for coming over to clean in preparation of my homecoming, I greatly appreciate your giving of your time and energy to bless me and my family. Thank you for all the love and support you have poured out on us.

Do you lack Peace?? Are you fearful about the “What ifs?? Do you have your spiritual armor on?? Psalm 91:1-5 reminds us that; “Those who live in the Shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare of the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I am trusting in Him. For He swill rescue you from every trap and protect you from the fatal plague. He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and protections. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor fear the dangers of the day.” God has used this passage to bring me great comfort. If you lack peace or are fearful about the “what ifs”, it may be because you are seeking your comfort, security or peace in something other than God. Your health, your job, your spouse, your friends will fall short, but the Lord God Almighty will never fail and his promises endure forever. He is faithful and will protect you and provide you with an unsurpassing peace in the midst of your trials if you would only seek Him alone and find rest in the shadow of His wings.

Love,
~Edie

Hospital Stay Day 2

2008-08-02T16:52:00.002-04:00

Hi Everyone!
Hope your all doing well! I was admitted back to Penn late Thursday night, we started Chemo Friday. This round of Chemo is 2x a day at a higher dose than before, but only every other day for 3 days. Sunday will be my second set and Tuesday will be my last. They say that if I don't have a fever or any other complications, I can go home after my last treatment on Tuesday night and get to sleep in my own bed. Yippe!!
I feel pretty good. So far no complications, just utter boredom. My counts aren't low yet so I've been able to leave the floor and walk out the hospital over to Pot Belly's, a little deli across the street. That's the excitement of my day. lol. Nap's are next to impossible. I tried to take a 2 hour nap today. Tried being the key word. Every 10-15 minutes someone would come in to check my vitals, or clean the room, etc.... I was ready to make a sign; Do Not Disturb and post it to my door. Not sure how that would fly though. That being said, I'm really looking forward to going home and recovering there with less interruptions :-) Of course I have teenagers so there will be a few.
I leave you today with a word from the book of James 1:2-8 out of the Message (The Bible in contemporary language) "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way. If you don't know what you're doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You'll get His help, and won't be condescended to when you ask for it. Ask boldly, believingly, without a second thought. People who "worry their prayers: are like wind-whipped waves. Don't think you will get anything from the Master that way, adrift at sea, keeping all your options open."
I see my Leukemia as a gift, and look forward to what more God has to teach me about Himself and who I am in Christ. I encourage you to see your trial or suffering from a new perspective, from God's who is all knowing, all loving. Jeremiah 29:11 says " For I know the plans I have for you, "says the Lord. " They are plans for your good and not for disaster, to give you a hope and a future." (NLT) Pray believing God is who He says He is and does what He says He will do.
Love you all!!
~Edie

Updates For The Next Leg of The Journey

2008-07-30T10:35:00.006-04:00

Hi Everyone!

So sorry I haven't updated in a few weeks. I will be updating again more regularly. I have really enjoyed my time at home. My focus was on rest, relaxation and quality time with my family. Oh... and organizing like crazy :-) The first week I wasn't able to do much because I was still so tierd and I also has Cdif, a stomach infection. Uggh. By the next week, I was getting around and more. I saw the doctor for another bone marrow biobsy and learned that I am successfully in first remission. Yippee! That means that I do not have Luekemia right now. I still have a long road ahead though. I have 4 more rounds of Chemo that will span through December. Each time it will be a week of Chemo, two weeks of being neutropeinic, and 3 weeks recovering and then I do it all over again. I have about a 70%-65% chance of it returning, even after the chemo. We considered the bone marrow transplant, but I have decided to put that on the back burner for now. The transplant would reduce my risk by 20% more but has serious risks involved that I am not ready for. My brothers are not a match so that makes things even trickier. I continue to pray for and trust in God's healing power in my life.

A prayer request would be that I would be fever and infection free during the next round of Chemo. I go in on Thursday July 31st. If after my week of Chemo is up and I have not gotten a fever, I can come home to recover rather than staying in the hospital for the full 30 days. I would much prefer recovering at home with my family and better food :-) However, if at any point while recovering at home I get a fever, I will be back in the hospital until the end of August when my counts come back up. Uggh. Also pray for my family, that they would continue to see Christ at work in the midst of this and have complete peace and trust in Him. Pray also for the returning to school preparations and transitions back, that they would go smoothly without having much help from me.

I need to give a Huge THANKS!!! to everyone that has been supporting and praying for us. Also, I did not have the opportunity to post my thanks to those who have done so much during my stay at home. There was a Saturday work day and many families came and weeded and mulched my yard and cleaned the inside of my house; Thank you- Kay and Erin , Hannah, John, Lauren and Corey, Pam and Scott, Theresa , Betty Ann and Courtney, Jane and Ron, Cathy K, Pam and Steve, and Dawn and Dan, And Dad and Jim :-) Thank you to Mom, Pat and Caitlin, Toni and Mary for your cleaning over the last couple of weeks! Thank you to everyone who provided a meal or have sent gift cards. We are so blessed and appreciate everything you all have done. I hope to write a personal note of thanks to each of you eventually, but please know that your kindness and generosity has not gone unnoticed and I give thanks for you everyday!! I love you all!!!!!

Lastly, I want to encourage you all. God has spoken to my heart and filled me with such peace and even excitement to see how He is at work. I have such a conviction and passion to remind you that God is Good all the time. He can be trusted and has a plan for this for my good and His glory as it is written in Romans 8 :28. In Ephesians 3:13-21, Paul writes a prayer for the Ephesians. It is also my prayer for you- "Therefore I ask you not to lose heart at my tribulations on your behalf, for they are your glory. For this reason I bow my knees before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name, that He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith; and that you, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth, and to know the love of Christ which surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled up to all the fullness of God. Now to Him who is able to do exceeding abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations forever and ever, Amen."

Love and Blessings,

~Edie

PS( My next updates won't be so long :-) I needed to catch up for missed weeks. LOL)

Tired but Happy!

2008-07-08T17:26:00.003-04:00

I just spoke with Edie, she was hanging out in the family room with Zeke by her side. Apparently he hasn't left her side since she got home. Her family was not quite ready for her so her mom is busy cleaning. She is tired but happy to be home! While it seemed like she was there forever, it was just 30 days, which is an answer to prayer that she was on the shorter side of the projected 30-40 day stay!!

Edie should be home for three weeks rather than the two she originally thought it would be. She will go back to the hospital on Monday for another Bone Marrow Biopsy, it will be out-patient.

Edie is looking forward to "doing something!" As we getting off the phone it sounded like the first something was going to be playing a game with Julia!

Since Edie racked up the minutes on her cell phone while in the hospital she asked that if you call try to call the house phone. (If you have verizon wireless you can call her cell since it would be an in-network no charge call.)

Respectfully - Faith

Home Sweet Home

2008-07-08T16:48:00.002-04:00

Edie is home!!!!!!!!!!!
More details later.

Being a Blessing

2008-07-06T21:27:00.005-04:00

This is what I was picturing as I spoke with Edie Saturday afternoon. I debated whether to include it in this post until I opened my Bible for a quiet time to this passage so ...

"When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who has sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." John 13:12-17

What a beautiful example of this Edie's recent visitors have been. While they haven't washed her feet for her they have given her some foot, leg, arm and hand rubs and SHE LOVED IT!!

First she had visit from Karen B, David B Jr, and Kathy H. David played the guitar while his mom and Kathy gave Edie a foot and leg rub during their visit. Edie said the that combo was just what she needed.

Then she had a visit from her work friends Rayelle, Brooke and Tammy. They had her laughing, alot!! They also gave her a massage.

The pampering continued with a visit from Laurie B and Kathy P who also rubbed her feet.

While Edie totally loved the massages, the best part of all of these visits was when she was prayed over. They were her best couple of days so far. She was awaiting a visit from her parents when we spoke.

In the time that has passed since her pampering parties the pain in her stomach has lessened and as a result they have lowered the amount of pain medication. Her fevers had been low grade and nothing that is track-able. She was able to take a 2 lap walk around her wing of the hospital -- the first walk since the chemo cycle started about 20 days ago! Edie's white cell count is on the rise!!

Praise God for friends who are such beautiful examples of the body of Christ! Praise God for answered prayers! Praise God for the gifts of music, massage and laughter!

Respectfully ~ Faith

Biopsy Results and a plan

2008-07-02T16:13:00.004-04:00

Edie got the results back from the Bone Marrow Biopsy and there are some small victories to be celebrated. There was no cancer in the sample that they took!! This means that once the fevers and pain are gone she can head home and recoup there for two weeks before the next round of chemo. Edie has started a regimen of continuous pain and fever reducing meds to help gain control. (She had been trying to tuff it out - that's our Edie.)

She is looking forward to being at home, in a comfy bed. When I spoke with her she was quite upbeat and was happy to report that she had been able to play the guitar for a little while today. (Thanks Paulie D.!!)

Another THANK YOU goes out to another division of Commerce Bank. Edie wants to thank the Commerce Online group for their love, prayers and generous gift. She worked with this group 2 years ago when she was doing day work and still see some of them when she leaving her shift.

Respectfully - Faith

104.9

2008-07-02T10:56:00.007-04:00

No, that's not the best radio station around but unfortunately it is how high Edie's fevers have been spiking. Edie is still waiting for the lab results to see how well the chemo worked and chart her next step in this journey. Her hope is that she will be able to come home for a short period of time before the next chemo treatment. In the meantime she is still dealing with the after effects of the first chemo treatment such as fevers, a pretty steady stomach pain from an infection (it has a name but I have no idea how to spell it), and hair loss to mention a few. Edie has also had multiple blood and platelet transfusions. (These are an everyday occurrence lately.)

Edie would like to thank all of you for your continued love, support and prayers! A special THANK YOU goes out to the Third Shift Commerce Bank Team for their love, support, prayers and gifts! Edie was quite touched by your generosity.

She wishes that she felt better and could post information more often so until that time comes she has asked me to update the blog for her. I will do my best to keep you as up to date as possible.

As you pray for Edie pray for wisdom for the medical personnel, for the lab results, fevers to stop, stomach infection to clear, comfort, for her girls, her husband, her siblings and her parents.

Respectfully - Faith

News from Edie via her Mom

2008-06-27T11:36:00.004-04:00

She loves to read your wonderful messages of encouragement. Keep them coming!! She wishes she could post on the blog for you and will do that as soon as she is able.

The latest new: Her pain is at a minimal level. She continues to spike fevers but Tylenol is helping. The good news this morning is that they gave her a liquid diet as she was not permitted food or water for at least four days. She could rub her lips with a sponge. There are still hurdles to climb but Edie approaches them with here strong trust and faith in the Lord.

She does have a new blackberry but they could not retrieve any of her past information. She needs your phone numbers once again. The good news is her computer was fixed and she did not lose any information.

God Bless,

Edie's Mom

2008-06-21T20:33:00.003-04:00

Hi All!

Here is why you have not heard any new news from Edie.

Edie's phone and her computer crashed on Friday. One thing she can be sure of and that God's connection does not crash. Being connected is important to her. She would appreciate it if all of you could call her or text her with your phone numbers once again. Your faithfulness and encouraging notes mean so much to her.

Health up-date:

The past few days Edie has been dealing with high fevers and stomach pain. It seems that this is a part of this process she will have to endure. The Apostle Paul reminds us in Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through him who strengthens me". This is true for Edie as well.

Thank you and God Bless,

Edie's mom

Thursday the 19th

2008-06-17T17:55:00.008-04:00

Hi Everyone!
I have been too tired to blog by the end of day, so I thought I'd try at the start of my day :-)

I slept pretty good last night. I'm getting more tired now, but that's part of the plan to get me better. In two weeks I should begin to rebuild cells and begin to start feeling better again. I'm counting the days. I'm a little homesick, so I'm hoping the time goes by quickly. I miss Jim, Megan and Julia tremendously and look forward to lots of hugs. I also miss Zeek and Rusty too! I'm looking forward to be able to spend a lot more time with everyone.

Over the last few days I've had a lot of wonderful visitors. Thank you for your gifts and cards and prayers. You have all truly blessed me with the support and concern you have showed me and my family.

I have found that we have the worlds crappiest health benefits system. Here I am fighting to stay alive and having to make sure I don't lose my benefits or job in the process. Everything is "time is of the essence" or possible cancellation or bill collectors, and there's no allowance for making things easy. Lot's of paper pushing bureaucratic stuff. Ugghhh. If I make it through this, I will certainly want to address the process for those who are sick in a hospital or under treatment. They should be allowed to focus on getting better not worry about so many other things. Thankfully God has provided me family and friends who will take over some of those concerns for me, but what about the person who doesn't have family or a supportive church like me?

My appetite has severely decreased. I had to pray through my breakfast yesterday. I mentioned it to a few of my visitors. You must be praying, because I did better the rest of the day and this morning. Still no nausea. They say I'm responding to the Chemo very well. Tomorrow is day 7. I will have my last chemo for this round tomorrow. We will wait another 7 days to see what rebuilds. Then we will do another bone marrow biopsy and take it from there. My prayer is that its clean and I can come home by early-mid July. I will come back again for another round a few weeks later, but as long as I don't have any fevers, I can go home after the week of chemo and recover there, rather than stay 30 days. Let's be praying for that! Next steps from that point will vary depending on the cytogenics study results of my bone marrow. Please pray that I'm on the side of best odds for the Leukemia not returning. That path is much easier :-)

I love reading your comments! What an encouragement and blessing it has been to me. Thank you to everyone who has left one. I love You all!! Thank you also to all of the visitors I've had. Going forward, please call first to see if I'm up for visitors. The next couple of weeks will be more challenging and I need lots of rest:-)

Thank you Jeff, for your music. It has ministered to my soul. I look forward to what God is going to teach me and how well I will know him as I enter the heart of the "Valley of the Shadow of Death" He will comfort and protect me. I will know His voice like never before! Psalm 23; I knew the song we were working on wasn't finished:-) Your song "Take me Lower" was not what I wanted to hear yesterday, but it kept coming up on my phone. LOL. But, I desire more of God and less of me in a physical and spiritual way. He is preparing me for something beautiful.

Love,
~Edie

Monday Update 6/18

2008-06-16T14:36:00.003-04:00

Hi Everyone !
I'm doing good today. I didn't need a blood transfusion. Yipee. God is blessing me and I have such peace. I'm experiencing a little more tiredness, but overall feel pretty good. I'm responding well to the Chemo thus far and am trying to stay active while I can. They make me walk around the hall on my floor to prevent clotting or fluid in the lungs. It looks silly carting an IV pole around.

They expect a minimum of 6 months for recovery not including any possible need of a bone marrow transplant. I'll know more over the next few weeks and I will update you. So much is still unknown, its hard to plan. I'm praying for a little speedier recovery and no transplant. I guess I'll get a chance to catch up with everyone that I've lost touch with due to my busy schedule :-)

A few of you asked what was King Da Ka. That's a funny story. I believe it is the worlds tallest, faster roller coaster. It's located in Sixflags Great Adventure in NJ. I took a group of youth there on May 31st for our end of year Hoorah! It was a perfect day. We re-rode our favorite mega roller coasters many times. The end of the evening we ran over to King Da Ka. We closed the park on that ride. Corey Fisher, Jamie Walter, Jess Hannon, Jimmy Dunn and myself went on. Jess and Jimmy had enough after a few times, which for anyone is still amazing, but Corey and Jamie and I kept going a few more times, laughing all the way about our " Re-Ride". The ride attendants thought we were crazy :-) By the fifth time we were able to pose for the first camera which is hard to do with your eyes in the back of your head and your face flapping in the wind like a cartoon character. LOL.

I have been blessed today by a few visitors I didn't even know personally, but are praying for me. My heart overflows with love. My friends Ann and Toni are coming by to talk hair and girly stuff and visit. My parents might drop by tonight.

Please see God at work in all of this. There is a plan and a purpose and it is for my good and His Glory. I pray God will encourage you all and your faith will increase.

Love,
~Edie

How this journey began

2008-06-15T16:58:00.003-04:00

Many of you have asked what happened. Did I notice any symptoms? What do the doctors say? How am I feeling? I thought I would start with the basics for those of you who may have just learned that I have Leukemia.

Thursday night June 6th going into Friday morning while at work, I noticed my feet were swelling and I couldn't find my ankles. LOL. When I came home I took a water pill and drank some water thinking that it was the chips I ate from Panera Bread being too salty and this is part of getting older :-) Well, the swelling was still there when I went into work on Friday night. My chest was tight and felt like someone was pressing down on it. The pain began to travel up my glands and I had a stiff neck. I felt chills and had a rapid heart beat. Of course, not wanting to mess up my paid time off, I stuck it out at work until morning and thought I'd call the doctor. Something inside me told me I might be really sick, but I was hoping it was just a virus and didn't want the emergency room to charge me a lot of money to say I had the flu. I left work with about an hour left on my shift after some strong persuading from one of my managers, of course my co-workers and supervisor were telling me how bad I looked and I should go home the entire shift, I'm stubborn like that. I like to keep my commitments and do my job sick or not. I called my primary care who then directed me to the ER. It was there I found out that my white blood cells were abnormally high with cause for concern, and my red blood cells were too low and I needed a blood transfusion. They took several tests over the next two days and felt that they had compeling evidence of Leukemia but they needed to do a bone marrow biopsy to confirm. That is what led me to the University of Penn. I arrived here Tuesday night. Had the biopsy Wednesday and started Chemo first thing Friday morning. I am on a 24 hours a day for seven day treatment, with an additional chemo drug pushed through for 3 days. Today was my last for the other Chemo and I have 4 more days of the seven day treatment.

Next steps; After the chemo treatment on Friday the 20th, my B-day, I will wait a few days to see if my cells start to rebuild. They will do another bone marrow biopsy to see if I need additional chemo or something to help my cells rebuild. After another 10-14 days I should be able to come home. That is as much as I know for now. I will eventually come back for another round of chemo, and pray that I won't need a bone marrow transplant.

Did I have any other symptoms? Yes, but I didn't make any connections. I felt unusually tired for the past month. So tired that I could barely get though cleaning my house, and many of you know how compulsive I am about that :-) I just thought I was getting out of shape and hired a personal trainer of which I only had two sessions and then two days later ended up in the ER, go figure. Well, I will lose those extra ten pounds without the trainer now, that's a bonus. LOL. I also had noticed bruising. My King Da Ka ride 5x in a row left some serious ones, but there had been others that I noticed prior to that, enough so I was intending to go to the doctor about it that same week-end I ended up in the hospital. Also, my gums were very irritated and bleeding, which I thought was just me needing to floss more and get a better mouth wash. Who'da thought?

How am I feeling? I'm feeling pretty good despite my situation. God has given me a supernatural peace about everything. I have no fear and feel so blessed by the outpouring of love and concern from all of my family and friends. They emails are beautiful and encouraging. I have had a lot of visitors, even all the way out here in Philly. Thank you all for how much love you have showered me and my family.

Today I needed two more blood transfusions because my red cells dropped into the sixes again. That had me a little tired, but I'm feeling better now. So far I have not experienced any nausea from the Chemo..... Praise God! My hair will fall out, but the good thing is it could grow back curly, how cool is that! I'm going to sport a good wig in the interim.

Jim and the girls came to visit today. Megan brought Kelsey P along and the Schlaegel's were here too. It was great visiting with all of them.

I just want to thank you all again for the prayers and concern for me and my family. Know that God is in Control and He is good all the time. He comforts and protects those that seek refuge in Him. Psalm 23 has been a comfort to me, please read it and be encouraged. I know that I am safe and secure while in the valley because God is my Shepherd and I shall not want.

Love you all!!
~Edie

My first blog

2008-06-14T16:14:00.003-04:00

Welcome to my blog. I hope to create an easy way to keep all my loved ones updated on my journey through the valley of Leukemia to the green pastures of remission and increased faith. I'm new at this, so bare with me as I try my new tech skills out. I hope to add a new blog later giving more details about how I began this journey and where I'm at right now.

Love you all!! Thank you for all the prayers and support that you have shown me and my family. May God pour out His blessings in abundance on all of you :-)

Love,
~Edie