Back to work!

Hi everyone! I thought I’d update you on the latest news. I met with the doctor on March 9th and my counts are still doing well. No sign on Leukemia J having said that, I am now back to work. Yipee!! I really enjoy what I do and I love the people I work with. They have been so welcoming. They gave me flowers and cards and gift cards to Whole Foods. (They’ve read my blog about how I had to change my diet J LoL) I missed them so much.

Physically everything is going well. I’m eating right, exercising and getting my sleep. However, I was going to write an update a few weeks ago and I was going to title it; Crashing and Burning. Emotionally and Spiritually I was doing just that, crashing and burning. If you were to talk to me a few weeks ago you might have wondered if I was the same woman who has written about trusting God and staying focused on Him and being at peace in the midst of trials. At the Ladies’ retreat I went to with my church, the topic was about Choosing Joy. The passage was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances.” Joy is a choice. We can either choose to focus on all that is going wrong that we see from our perspective, or be joyful always by praying continually and giving thanks in all circumstances, knowing that God works all things out for the good of those who love him. He sees things a bit differently and in order for us to choose Joy, we need to pray of course, but also trust God that He knows your needs and we do that when we choose to give thanks in everything. He knows what you can handle. He uses suffering to shape our character and develop Christ like character. If we would do as Psalm 37:4 tells us; “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give to you the desires of your heart.’ we would not be so caught up on the little things, or what we may perceive as big things. Our hearts desires are often misplaced. They are all about comfort, personal gratification, and security as we understand it; money in the bank, a good job, good health. God is talking about so much more not that good health and money in the bank aren’t important, but they should not be the primary center of out attention. Things are temporary. Life is fleeting. Hearts that desire knowing God and loving him first and foremost, leave a legacy and impact eternity. In my last update I mentioned wanting to leave a Legacy for my family and those who God brings into my life. If I’m so wrapped up in how I look or don’t look, if I have a job or the job I want, If we have money or not coming in, whether or not I get to go here or do this or that, then I miss out on what Life is really about. Loving God and loving others. Living out of an understanding of Gods grace for me and how I impart that grace to others. Growing in peace and coming alongside my family and then others in learning how to follow Christ, forgetting what is behind and pressing forward. Being joyful always in everything, knowing that we only have today and how we choose to live impacts us, those in our life and ultimately eternity. Be at rest. Take time to smell the roses so to speak. Slow down, think before you speak. Don’t live your life complaining about the things you cannot change, but embrace each day with a new perspective, God’s.

I can’t say this way of living comes naturally. I’m a perfectionist, and I was the one with a list of complaints just a few weeks ago, but God gave me a kick in the butt by a few people and reminded me that I was not choosing Joy and I was wasting my life and negatively impacting those around me and destroying my witness for Christ. Uggh!! What’s the name of that song by “Point of Grace” something like “It’s How You Live”? Anyway, I’m not sure about the song title, but those words are in the song and it should be the title, LOL. I do not want to go backwards and forget all that God has done for me and not be full of gratitude that I am alive and have a second lease on life. When we find ourselves backsliding, we simply repent and turn back to the Lord and move forward each day putting on our armor against doubt and fear and discouragement and stand firm and Know Your God and His purposes!!

Love you all!! Thank you for your continued prayers, support and encouragement.

~Edie

First Follow-up Appointment Results!

Okay, I know I haven't updated in a while. A few of you have brought it to my attention :-) I usually need to be inspired to write, but there are some good news updates to share! I had my first follow-up appointment with my oncologist. They took lab work and all my counts are great!! In fact, they are better than they have ever been. The doctor said I could go back to work part time to start. Yipee!! I must say that I was a bit nervous going. I really did not want to hear that it had returned. I'm thankful for another day. Praise God! I feel really good. I'm getting back some of my stamina and strength. My hair is slowly growing in, and yes, I have a little curl in the back. :-) hehehe. I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. However, I do have a new outlook on life; Don't take it for granted; enjoy each day, relationships are a priority, and follow God passionately.

In my last post, I mentioned being on a new leg to my journey. I think this leg is harder. I know that sounds odd, but there was some security in knowing that there was a plan for the next six months of my life. It might not have been the plan I would have chosen, but none the less my life was completely in God's hands and I was trusting in Him and knowing that he was at work in and through the doctors who were treating me, and for six months they had mapped out my life, so to speak. It seems that its easier for me to Trust God in the big things that seem completely out of my hands, but in the day to day things, in the what's next? things, the things I have a little control over well that's another story. I'm very impatient, controlling at times :-), and can be very passionate about stuff. (Okay, laugh now, those of you who know me well) I'm ready to begin my life again and God is reminding me to slow down. I have people in my life sitting on me to make sure I don't take on too much too soon. I want to know what God wants me to do with the rest of my life. When can I return to active ministry? How much should I work? I don't want to slack on being a good wife and mother. I want them to feel that I gave them my first fruits. I'm very concerned with how to live. I have a second lease on life and I'm not sure how long that lease will be so I want to make the most of it. I want to leave a legacy. I want them to feel I chose love over deeds, I want people to know that God is and my all in all. I hope that I have pointed others to Christ. Nicole Nordman wrote a song called "Legacy" , that's what I want to leave with my family and friends and those God has put in my path.
I think it was last Sunday, that my pastor Marty, was preaching on 1Kings 18 about Elijah having this great prayer battle with the baal prophets. They each made alters and were to call upon their god. The baal prophets had no luck. Their gods couldn't make the alter get fire under it. Elijah even mocked them asking if their god was taking a nap or perhaps going to the bathroom. Then Elijah prayed to the Lord of heaven and earth, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Yes, God showed up, fire lit the alter even though it had been saturated with water, the people destroyed the baal idols and prophets and killed them. God did this amazing miracle and Elijah had the faith to ask and all were amazed and worshiped God. Here's the funny thing, in Chapter 19 Elijah is on the run because the King's wife Jezebel is so angry at what Elijah did that she sent word to him that she was going to have him killed and Elijah is afraid of this woman's power. What?? He just had faith to ask God to display his power and might before hundreds of baal prophets and city folk and then God answered his prayer and performed the miracle and then next thing we hear is he's on the run because he's scared of a woman. WOW! ... The cool thing is God was gracious to Elijah even though he feared and did not continue to be so bold. God fed him, gave him protection from the heat of the desert and then called him back to his next mission to anoint a couple of Kings and the next prophet for the purpose of destroying baal worship. Before sending him God asked Elijah what he was doing, not once but a couple of times. Like, Helllooo Elijah, what on earth are you doing? Why so afraid? Why so despondent? I just answered your prayer and performed a mighty miracle, did you forget?( that's my personal interpretation of his question- what are you doing?) LOL. That is me, I saw God do this great thing and He brought me through my treatments and I'm alive and well. How could I doubt God's love for me or his faithfulness or his ability to provide and work all things out for my good? Why would I fear about my future? Unfortunately I do sometimes. The keyword being sometimes. Even people of great faith like Elijah can get overwhelmed and wonder what next? Then there are times when I remember what God has done and stand firm and know God is at work and I need to keep on praying and watch and see His handy work in my life and my families. Prayer is the other keyword. The bible tells us we don't have because we don't ask. We don't see answers to prayers, because we are not praying!!! This week God has led me to pray about a few things that I had concerns about and guess what. He gave me clarity, peace, direction. Go figure :-)

Okay, enough for today. I will see the doctor again March 2nd. I hope to be back at work very soon, and as God leads me or updates in my health arise, I will update again. Hope to talk to you soon!

Love, Edie

One leg of the Journey is Over and a New One Begins

I made it through my last round of chemo without any complications. No fevers or more hospital stays. My counts came up just a few days before Christmas and I was able to enjoy the holidays with my family. Praise God! One leg of the journey is now over and a new one has begun. My treatments are done and now I get tested monthly and seen by the doctor. My hope is to be back at work by February and to have my strength up. I'm still easily fatigued, but seeing progress. My hemoglobin was still very low on Dec 29th when I had my last visit to the doctors. That's probably one of the leading factors for my fatigue other than the fact that my body has had a beating for the last 6 months. Oh! and they pulled my picline out then too. Yipee! no more tubes hanging out of my arm :-)

I started my blog just over six months ago stating that this was my journey through the valley of Leukemia to the green pastures of remission and increased faith. Well, I'm in remission and my faith has definitely been increased. I have learned so much about my self, God, my family and my church. I won't begin to list all the things I've learned, but I feel that I have been truly blessed by this experience with Leukemia. I've experienced such love and encouragement from everyone that it has impacted my faith and understanding of God's love for me in such a way that words cannot express. I noticed the title of the Ladies Retreat my church does each year. This years title is " A joyful journey". My journey was a joyful one. Although this journey challenged my health, faith, marriage, children, family, work and ministry, I had a peace and joy in the midst of my trials. The journey through the valley of the Shadow of Death was not one without its challenges, there were wolves and robbers and rocks and difficult terrain and darkness, but those sheep could rest assure that their Shepherd was in control and they would make it through the valley to the other side where there was green pasture. The sheep that knew their shepherds voice, obeyed and stayed close to the shepherd experienced peace and security. The sheep that were skittish and wondered off easily experienced fear and confusion. Each of us have a choice to choose to get to know and trust God through our journey in life and experience hope and peace and joy even in hard times, which the bible promises we will have, or we can choose not to trust, to go it our own way and depend on ourselves and often experience fear and disappointment and hopelessness, like there's no end or way out when hard times hit us.

Do you like roller coasters? I've shared my passion for a good roller coaster. I've also compared our journey to that of a roller coaster. We can enjoy the ride or fight it all the way. It depends on your outlook. Is it one of fear or one of faith? What will we do when we are challenged with storms and trials? I must confess that I have my moments and I'm not super-human in how I handle the stress in my life, but they are that; moments. This is a daily discipline. It's a process. It does not come naturally. When I'm overwhelmed, I cannot allow myself to sit in fear. I must confess it and look up and be reminded of who God is, what He says He will do, and Who I am in Christ. I couldn't imagine how hard this journey would have been if I had allowed myself to focus on my fears or the what if's. It sure would not have been a joyful one. Praise God that he gave me the strength and wisdom to know that He is ultimately in control and that He loves me and works all things out for my good and His glory. This statement is true and what I believe and therefore will continue to live by it day by day. It needs to impact how I see every aspect of my life, marriage, children, family, work, ministry; that is the process part.

So my new journey has begun. Eat right, Uggh. exercise, and most importantly seek God first and slow down. This leg might be harder than the last. LOL

Love you all! Have a Blessed New Year!

~Edie