Home from the hospital

Hi Everyone! It's good to be home from the hospital. My stay was brief and uncomplicated. Everything seemed to go smoothly with the Chemo. My counts will drop sometime over the week-end and that's when I'll feel the effects of the Chemo. They say this round and the next one are more difficult because my body is so run down. Please pray for a fever free recovery without any complications. It takes about 20 days for my counts to recover, I'm counting the days and they haven't even began. LOL I hate having to stay put and being so tired all the time.
Tuesday night I stopped by Commerce to visit my friends from work. It was great to see everyone! The famous questions were "How was I feeling? and When was I coming back?" If I could be there yesterday I would. I miss work. I like what I do, I like the people, and the money is much better than collecting disability, which is like half your pay. Ugghh. I am really looking forward to recovering from my last round and getting on with life again. However, I do have some new perspectives, hard learned patience and a dependency on seeking God's direction for my life and not my own. I'm so stubborn and driven that I didn't even listen to my bodies warning signs that I was sick.
In life we can get so caught up with our own goals and dreams that we have side blinders to what God's goals and dreams are for us. We can pursue good things that turn into bad things for our health or marriage or kids, etc... because we focused on what we want and not the bigger picture. For instance; we could be driven to be financially successful, but in the race for success and financial freedom our relationships begin to suffer. We spend less time investing in the people in our lives; our marriage begins to suffer if not crumble, our kids begin to disrespect and detach and learn the independent way void of wise counsel and guidance, and we find ourselves with fewer friends, if we even have the time for them. Lastly, our own health begins to reap what we've sown and suffers as well.
I've been thinking about some of the goals and dreams I have and what to do develop them; A joy filled passionate marriage, Kids who communicate well and are educated and have a heart for following Christ in all the areas of their lives. Continued opportunity for youth ministry development and financial freedom. There have been times when the order of these priorities and goals where way out of sink. Balance is important, taking care of your health is important, daily following God for direction on how to accomplish these goals and dreams is extremely vital to the mission. If there is one theme I've gotten from God it is Relationships first. My first relationship is with God and all else filters out from there. Matt 6:33 But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." What was being talked about in reference to all these things, was the things I mentioned. What we worry about; money, clothes, prosperity, health, etc....But God knows we need those things, He wants a relationship with us first. Seek Him First and the rest will fall into place. Read Matt 6:19-34 for a fuller picture.
Love, Edie

Brief Stay at the Hospital

Hi Everyone!

Sorry I don't update more often :-( My computer has been on the fritz lately and I haven't been feeling the greatest either. About a week and a half ago I had low grade fevers that kept me in my bed. I didn't start feeling good until last Saturday. I ventured out to a fall festival my daughters school was having; I lasted about an hour and a half and came home and napped the rest of the day. LOL Since then I've been feeling better, just tired. I needed two blood transfusions when I got to the hospital for my Chemo stay, that would account for the tiredness :-) The Chemo is going well so far. My picline is a little irritated though. Please pray that it clears up so that they don't pull it again. Ugggh! I would hate to have another line put in. I only have one more round of Chemo in December. Yipee! The picline is important because its how I get the Chemo, but its also necessary if I get nutrapenic fevers and need to be hospitalized like I've been in the past. These next two rounds could be more difficult and all the more reason for me to have a line in. I will be nutrapenic by next weekend and it will not pass for about two weeks or so. Please pray that I make it through without fevers and needing to me hospitalized.

God is always teaching me something if I'm willing to listen. haha. I'm in a shared room and not the window side. The woman I'm sharing my room with is very sick with liver cancer. (Pray for her, she doesn't have a lot of treatment options from the sounds of it.) Okay, so my point was that when I first learned I was in a shared room, I wasn't happy. I can be a bit high maintenance. ( another humbling confession, LOL) I did not want to share a room or a bathroom. I wipe down the room and am crazy meticulous in my own room! How am I going to deal seeing someone else's specimens in the bathroom, etc....? I wanted out and then heard a small voice say to me that this will build character and I could minister to this woman. Of Course! I'm so selfish sometimes. I want to minister to who I want, when I want, and where I want. God calls us to join Him where He is at work. As I looked at how pathetic my thinking was I thought how would God be able to put me anywhere to minister if I have so many demands and special needs (comfort, ease, safety, cleanliness, etc..) Well, that's called stinkin thinkin. Anyway, its been a pleasure to share my room. I have tried to encourage this woman. I have shared my new diet with her husband, and I have prayed for her when I hear her suffering.

I don't want to miss out on anything God is trying to teach me. Leukemia has only been a catalyst for God to get at the real issues in my heart. Have you ever let God at the real issues in your heart???

Love, Edie

Blessed but bored!

This past week I've been more tired than I'd like to be. I go back in on October 16th for another round of Chemo. If all goes well I'll be home from the hospital by the 21st. When I have this time at home and I'm not neutropenic I want to get so much done and do so many things with the girls and Jim and friends, but I'm slowed down by my health. Ugghh. It's not easy when your what I've been called; Super A type personality. I tried to walk on the treadmill today at 3.0 speed and barely lasted 5 minutes I was soooo out of breath. LOL So, I'll take it slower and plan out visits with friends and make sure I nap before hand :-) Saturday night Jim and I went out with friends for dinner and then they came back to play Phase 10 until 11pm. I was so excited I lasted, of course I did nap for 2.5 hours before we went out. Ha ha ha.
I met this incredible nurse, Tonya on my doctors visit Thursday. She was such an blessing to me. She encouraged me and spoke prophetically to me and prayed over me right there in the office! God is using this forced rest to teach me many things and has brought several people in my life to support what God is doing in my life. As I mentioned in my last update, I have felt major pruning and God prompting me to give up somethings I was holding on to. On this leg of the journey HE's been teaching me about forgiveness and surrender. I have always thought of myself as very forgiving, but I struggle with surrender. When you think you can do it all and your way is the right way its not easy to surrender to another plan. ( a major confession, LOL :-) This has been a major turning point in my journey. My forgiveness for someone was wrapped up in my need to surrender to God what God's call on my life is and that it really is better than mine. He has my plans in there but after I surrender to somethings I felt justified to hold onto and angered to think of letting them go. I was comfortable eating onions and living in slavery so to speak, a reference to the Israelites when they were complaining and wanted to go back to Egypt not long after being rescued and being told they would enter the promised land. How dumb is that! I came across a song by the Barlow Girls that has really spoken to my heart and tells my story in this part of the journey. It has made me want to sing again and play my guitar. ( so my jamming friends, please feel free to visit so we can play again :-)
Here are the the lyrics to Here's My Life by the Barlow Girls. "Once again I said my goodbyes... To those I love most.. My heart feels that familiar pain.. As I long for home.. Cause this road is hard.. When I feel so far.. God I'm crying out tonight... Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind.. So once more here's my life...
On the day that You called my name... All that I knew changed.. I found when I said yes, that I'd never be the same... Though the Call is hard... You are worth it all.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind... So once more here's my life.. Even when the tears are falling.. When I find I fear the Calling.. You remind me.. Words you've spoken over my life.. Promises I've yet to see.. You comfort me.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind. .. So once more here's my life.... You comfort me...."

Hope you have a Blessed day!
Love,
~Edie