This past week I've been more tired than I'd like to be. I go back in on October 16th for another round of Chemo. If all goes well I'll be home from the hospital by the 21st. When I have this time at home and I'm not neutropenic I want to get so much done and do so many things with the girls and Jim and friends, but I'm slowed down by my health. Ugghh. It's not easy when your what I've been called; Super A type personality. I tried to walk on the treadmill today at 3.0 speed and barely lasted 5 minutes I was soooo out of breath. LOL So, I'll take it slower and plan out visits with friends and make sure I nap before hand :-) Saturday night Jim and I went out with friends for dinner and then they came back to play Phase 10 until 11pm. I was so excited I lasted, of course I did nap for 2.5 hours before we went out. Ha ha ha.
I met this incredible nurse, Tonya on my doctors visit Thursday. She was such an blessing to me. She encouraged me and spoke prophetically to me and prayed over me right there in the office! God is using this forced rest to teach me many things and has brought several people in my life to support what God is doing in my life. As I mentioned in my last update, I have felt major pruning and God prompting me to give up somethings I was holding on to. On this leg of the journey HE's been teaching me about forgiveness and surrender. I have always thought of myself as very forgiving, but I struggle with surrender. When you think you can do it all and your way is the right way its not easy to surrender to another plan. ( a major confession, LOL :-) This has been a major turning point in my journey. My forgiveness for someone was wrapped up in my need to surrender to God what God's call on my life is and that it really is better than mine. He has my plans in there but after I surrender to somethings I felt justified to hold onto and angered to think of letting them go. I was comfortable eating onions and living in slavery so to speak, a reference to the Israelites when they were complaining and wanted to go back to Egypt not long after being rescued and being told they would enter the promised land. How dumb is that! I came across a song by the Barlow Girls that has really spoken to my heart and tells my story in this part of the journey. It has made me want to sing again and play my guitar. ( so my jamming friends, please feel free to visit so we can play again :-)
Here are the the lyrics to Here's My Life by the Barlow Girls. "Once again I said my goodbyes... To those I love most.. My heart feels that familiar pain.. As I long for home.. Cause this road is hard.. When I feel so far.. God I'm crying out tonight... Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind.. So once more here's my life...
On the day that You called my name... All that I knew changed.. I found when I said yes, that I'd never be the same... Though the Call is hard... You are worth it all.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind... So once more here's my life.. Even when the tears are falling.. When I find I fear the Calling.. You remind me.. Words you've spoken over my life.. Promises I've yet to see.. You comfort me.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind. .. So once more here's my life.... You comfort me...."
Hope you have a Blessed day!
Love,
~Edie
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6 comments:
Edie,
Once again, your honesty and humility amaze me. I am praying for those things right along with you. Can't wait to hear you sing again!!!
Love ya,
Pam
Hi Edie --- I agree with Pam (above). I've never had to deal with an illness, but I do know that God has grown me through circumstances that I would not have chosen for myself. Know that God has known and loved you since before you were born and He has a plan for you---for your good and His glory. Praise God! Keep running the race! (just try 2 miles on the treadmill for now!) Love, Donna
It was great to see and talk to you at the Fall Fling! You look wonderful! God is good! Love, Donna
Hey hun! I am always keeping myself updated, but I can never remember my password and when I think I do it still tells me it's wrong lol The words to the song are beautiful and I love all your pictures (Especially the "Bald is beautiful" one)!!! You are just such an encouragement and God is using you tremendously!!! Your attitude and testimony is such an encouragement to all of us! We wish you endurance and pray for a fast recovery! We love you!!! <3
We keep praying!! And we will continue. Let us know of your needs. Love, Donna
Hi Edie!
It's Stacy McDowell... I've been updating myself on your blog frequently and am praying for you! I tried to send you an email but i'm not sure if it was the right address...did you get it? I miss you and love you! You are such an encouragement to so many!!
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