Hi everyone! I thought I’d update you on the latest news. I met with the doctor on March 9th and my counts are still doing well. No sign on Leukemia J having said that, I am now back to work. Yipee!! I really enjoy what I do and I love the people I work with. They have been so welcoming. They gave me flowers and cards and gift cards to Whole Foods. (They’ve read my blog about how I had to change my diet J LoL) I missed them so much.
Physically everything is going well. I’m eating right, exercising and getting my sleep. However, I was going to write an update a few weeks ago and I was going to title it; Crashing and Burning. Emotionally and Spiritually I was doing just that, crashing and burning. If you were to talk to me a few weeks ago you might have wondered if I was the same woman who has written about trusting God and staying focused on Him and being at peace in the midst of trials. At the Ladies’ retreat I went to with my church, the topic was about Choosing Joy. The passage was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances.” Joy is a choice. We can either choose to focus on all that is going wrong that we see from our perspective, or be joyful always by praying continually and giving thanks in all circumstances, knowing that God works all things out for the good of those who love him. He sees things a bit differently and in order for us to choose Joy, we need to pray of course, but also trust God that He knows your needs and we do that when we choose to give thanks in everything. He knows what you can handle. He uses suffering to shape our character and develop Christ like character. If we would do as Psalm 37:4 tells us; “Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give to you the desires of your heart.’ we would not be so caught up on the little things, or what we may perceive as big things. Our hearts desires are often misplaced. They are all about comfort, personal gratification, and security as we understand it; money in the bank, a good job, good health. God is talking about so much more not that good health and money in the bank aren’t important, but they should not be the primary center of out attention. Things are temporary. Life is fleeting. Hearts that desire knowing God and loving him first and foremost, leave a legacy and impact eternity. In my last update I mentioned wanting to leave a Legacy for my family and those who God brings into my life. If I’m so wrapped up in how I look or don’t look, if I have a job or the job I want, If we have money or not coming in, whether or not I get to go here or do this or that, then I miss out on what Life is really about. Loving God and loving others. Living out of an understanding of Gods grace for me and how I impart that grace to others. Growing in peace and coming alongside my family and then others in learning how to follow Christ, forgetting what is behind and pressing forward. Being joyful always in everything, knowing that we only have today and how we choose to live impacts us, those in our life and ultimately eternity. Be at rest. Take time to smell the roses so to speak. Slow down, think before you speak. Don’t live your life complaining about the things you cannot change, but embrace each day with a new perspective, God’s.
I can’t say this way of living comes naturally. I’m a perfectionist, and I was the one with a list of complaints just a few weeks ago, but God gave me a kick in the butt by a few people and reminded me that I was not choosing Joy and I was wasting my life and negatively impacting those around me and destroying my witness for Christ. Uggh!! What’s the name of that song by “Point of Grace” something like “It’s How You Live”? Anyway, I’m not sure about the song title, but those words are in the song and it should be the title, LOL. I do not want to go backwards and forget all that God has done for me and not be full of gratitude that I am alive and have a second lease on life. When we find ourselves backsliding, we simply repent and turn back to the Lord and move forward each day putting on our armor against doubt and fear and discouragement and stand firm and Know Your God and His purposes!!
Love you all!! Thank you for your continued prayers, support and encouragement.
~Edie
Friday, March 20, 2009
Saturday, February 7, 2009
First Follow-up Appointment Results!
Okay, I know I haven't updated in a while. A few of you have brought it to my attention :-) I usually need to be inspired to write, but there are some good news updates to share! I had my first follow-up appointment with my oncologist. They took lab work and all my counts are great!! In fact, they are better than they have ever been. The doctor said I could go back to work part time to start. Yipee!! I must say that I was a bit nervous going. I really did not want to hear that it had returned. I'm thankful for another day. Praise God! I feel really good. I'm getting back some of my stamina and strength. My hair is slowly growing in, and yes, I have a little curl in the back. :-) hehehe. I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. However, I do have a new outlook on life; Don't take it for granted; enjoy each day, relationships are a priority, and follow God passionately.
In my last post, I mentioned being on a new leg to my journey. I think this leg is harder. I know that sounds odd, but there was some security in knowing that there was a plan for the next six months of my life. It might not have been the plan I would have chosen, but none the less my life was completely in God's hands and I was trusting in Him and knowing that he was at work in and through the doctors who were treating me, and for six months they had mapped out my life, so to speak. It seems that its easier for me to Trust God in the big things that seem completely out of my hands, but in the day to day things, in the what's next? things, the things I have a little control over well that's another story. I'm very impatient, controlling at times :-), and can be very passionate about stuff. (Okay, laugh now, those of you who know me well) I'm ready to begin my life again and God is reminding me to slow down. I have people in my life sitting on me to make sure I don't take on too much too soon. I want to know what God wants me to do with the rest of my life. When can I return to active ministry? How much should I work? I don't want to slack on being a good wife and mother. I want them to feel that I gave them my first fruits. I'm very concerned with how to live. I have a second lease on life and I'm not sure how long that lease will be so I want to make the most of it. I want to leave a legacy. I want them to feel I chose love over deeds, I want people to know that God is and my all in all. I hope that I have pointed others to Christ. Nicole Nordman wrote a song called "Legacy" , that's what I want to leave with my family and friends and those God has put in my path.
I think it was last Sunday, that my pastor Marty, was preaching on 1Kings 18 about Elijah having this great prayer battle with the baal prophets. They each made alters and were to call upon their god. The baal prophets had no luck. Their gods couldn't make the alter get fire under it. Elijah even mocked them asking if their god was taking a nap or perhaps going to the bathroom. Then Elijah prayed to the Lord of heaven and earth, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Yes, God showed up, fire lit the alter even though it had been saturated with water, the people destroyed the baal idols and prophets and killed them. God did this amazing miracle and Elijah had the faith to ask and all were amazed and worshiped God. Here's the funny thing, in Chapter 19 Elijah is on the run because the King's wife Jezebel is so angry at what Elijah did that she sent word to him that she was going to have him killed and Elijah is afraid of this woman's power. What?? He just had faith to ask God to display his power and might before hundreds of baal prophets and city folk and then God answered his prayer and performed the miracle and then next thing we hear is he's on the run because he's scared of a woman. WOW! ... The cool thing is God was gracious to Elijah even though he feared and did not continue to be so bold. God fed him, gave him protection from the heat of the desert and then called him back to his next mission to anoint a couple of Kings and the next prophet for the purpose of destroying baal worship. Before sending him God asked Elijah what he was doing, not once but a couple of times. Like, Helllooo Elijah, what on earth are you doing? Why so afraid? Why so despondent? I just answered your prayer and performed a mighty miracle, did you forget?( that's my personal interpretation of his question- what are you doing?) LOL. That is me, I saw God do this great thing and He brought me through my treatments and I'm alive and well. How could I doubt God's love for me or his faithfulness or his ability to provide and work all things out for my good? Why would I fear about my future? Unfortunately I do sometimes. The keyword being sometimes. Even people of great faith like Elijah can get overwhelmed and wonder what next? Then there are times when I remember what God has done and stand firm and know God is at work and I need to keep on praying and watch and see His handy work in my life and my families. Prayer is the other keyword. The bible tells us we don't have because we don't ask. We don't see answers to prayers, because we are not praying!!! This week God has led me to pray about a few things that I had concerns about and guess what. He gave me clarity, peace, direction. Go figure :-)
Okay, enough for today. I will see the doctor again March 2nd. I hope to be back at work very soon, and as God leads me or updates in my health arise, I will update again. Hope to talk to you soon!
Love, Edie
In my last post, I mentioned being on a new leg to my journey. I think this leg is harder. I know that sounds odd, but there was some security in knowing that there was a plan for the next six months of my life. It might not have been the plan I would have chosen, but none the less my life was completely in God's hands and I was trusting in Him and knowing that he was at work in and through the doctors who were treating me, and for six months they had mapped out my life, so to speak. It seems that its easier for me to Trust God in the big things that seem completely out of my hands, but in the day to day things, in the what's next? things, the things I have a little control over well that's another story. I'm very impatient, controlling at times :-), and can be very passionate about stuff. (Okay, laugh now, those of you who know me well) I'm ready to begin my life again and God is reminding me to slow down. I have people in my life sitting on me to make sure I don't take on too much too soon. I want to know what God wants me to do with the rest of my life. When can I return to active ministry? How much should I work? I don't want to slack on being a good wife and mother. I want them to feel that I gave them my first fruits. I'm very concerned with how to live. I have a second lease on life and I'm not sure how long that lease will be so I want to make the most of it. I want to leave a legacy. I want them to feel I chose love over deeds, I want people to know that God is and my all in all. I hope that I have pointed others to Christ. Nicole Nordman wrote a song called "Legacy" , that's what I want to leave with my family and friends and those God has put in my path.
I think it was last Sunday, that my pastor Marty, was preaching on 1Kings 18 about Elijah having this great prayer battle with the baal prophets. They each made alters and were to call upon their god. The baal prophets had no luck. Their gods couldn't make the alter get fire under it. Elijah even mocked them asking if their god was taking a nap or perhaps going to the bathroom. Then Elijah prayed to the Lord of heaven and earth, God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Yes, God showed up, fire lit the alter even though it had been saturated with water, the people destroyed the baal idols and prophets and killed them. God did this amazing miracle and Elijah had the faith to ask and all were amazed and worshiped God. Here's the funny thing, in Chapter 19 Elijah is on the run because the King's wife Jezebel is so angry at what Elijah did that she sent word to him that she was going to have him killed and Elijah is afraid of this woman's power. What?? He just had faith to ask God to display his power and might before hundreds of baal prophets and city folk and then God answered his prayer and performed the miracle and then next thing we hear is he's on the run because he's scared of a woman. WOW! ... The cool thing is God was gracious to Elijah even though he feared and did not continue to be so bold. God fed him, gave him protection from the heat of the desert and then called him back to his next mission to anoint a couple of Kings and the next prophet for the purpose of destroying baal worship. Before sending him God asked Elijah what he was doing, not once but a couple of times. Like, Helllooo Elijah, what on earth are you doing? Why so afraid? Why so despondent? I just answered your prayer and performed a mighty miracle, did you forget?( that's my personal interpretation of his question- what are you doing?) LOL. That is me, I saw God do this great thing and He brought me through my treatments and I'm alive and well. How could I doubt God's love for me or his faithfulness or his ability to provide and work all things out for my good? Why would I fear about my future? Unfortunately I do sometimes. The keyword being sometimes. Even people of great faith like Elijah can get overwhelmed and wonder what next? Then there are times when I remember what God has done and stand firm and know God is at work and I need to keep on praying and watch and see His handy work in my life and my families. Prayer is the other keyword. The bible tells us we don't have because we don't ask. We don't see answers to prayers, because we are not praying!!! This week God has led me to pray about a few things that I had concerns about and guess what. He gave me clarity, peace, direction. Go figure :-)
Okay, enough for today. I will see the doctor again March 2nd. I hope to be back at work very soon, and as God leads me or updates in my health arise, I will update again. Hope to talk to you soon!
Love, Edie
Friday, January 9, 2009
One leg of the Journey is Over and a New One Begins
I made it through my last round of chemo without any complications. No fevers or more hospital stays. My counts came up just a few days before Christmas and I was able to enjoy the holidays with my family. Praise God! One leg of the journey is now over and a new one has begun. My treatments are done and now I get tested monthly and seen by the doctor. My hope is to be back at work by February and to have my strength up. I'm still easily fatigued, but seeing progress. My hemoglobin was still very low on Dec 29th when I had my last visit to the doctors. That's probably one of the leading factors for my fatigue other than the fact that my body has had a beating for the last 6 months. Oh! and they pulled my picline out then too. Yipee! no more tubes hanging out of my arm :-)
I started my blog just over six months ago stating that this was my journey through the valley of Leukemia to the green pastures of remission and increased faith. Well, I'm in remission and my faith has definitely been increased. I have learned so much about my self, God, my family and my church. I won't begin to list all the things I've learned, but I feel that I have been truly blessed by this experience with Leukemia. I've experienced such love and encouragement from everyone that it has impacted my faith and understanding of God's love for me in such a way that words cannot express. I noticed the title of the Ladies Retreat my church does each year. This years title is " A joyful journey". My journey was a joyful one. Although this journey challenged my health, faith, marriage, children, family, work and ministry, I had a peace and joy in the midst of my trials. The journey through the valley of the Shadow of Death was not one without its challenges, there were wolves and robbers and rocks and difficult terrain and darkness, but those sheep could rest assure that their Shepherd was in control and they would make it through the valley to the other side where there was green pasture. The sheep that knew their shepherds voice, obeyed and stayed close to the shepherd experienced peace and security. The sheep that were skittish and wondered off easily experienced fear and confusion. Each of us have a choice to choose to get to know and trust God through our journey in life and experience hope and peace and joy even in hard times, which the bible promises we will have, or we can choose not to trust, to go it our own way and depend on ourselves and often experience fear and disappointment and hopelessness, like there's no end or way out when hard times hit us.
Do you like roller coasters? I've shared my passion for a good roller coaster. I've also compared our journey to that of a roller coaster. We can enjoy the ride or fight it all the way. It depends on your outlook. Is it one of fear or one of faith? What will we do when we are challenged with storms and trials? I must confess that I have my moments and I'm not super-human in how I handle the stress in my life, but they are that; moments. This is a daily discipline. It's a process. It does not come naturally. When I'm overwhelmed, I cannot allow myself to sit in fear. I must confess it and look up and be reminded of who God is, what He says He will do, and Who I am in Christ. I couldn't imagine how hard this journey would have been if I had allowed myself to focus on my fears or the what if's. It sure would not have been a joyful one. Praise God that he gave me the strength and wisdom to know that He is ultimately in control and that He loves me and works all things out for my good and His glory. This statement is true and what I believe and therefore will continue to live by it day by day. It needs to impact how I see every aspect of my life, marriage, children, family, work, ministry; that is the process part.
So my new journey has begun. Eat right, Uggh. exercise, and most importantly seek God first and slow down. This leg might be harder than the last. LOL
Love you all! Have a Blessed New Year!
~Edie
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Last Round of Chemo update
Hi Everyone!
I had my last round of chemo in the hospital from the 1st thru the 6th. I came home late that Saturday night. Yipee! I was bored and antsy to get home and be with my family. I've been nutrapenic for the past week. So far no fevers and hospital stays. Thanks for praying. I should be out of the nutrapenic stage in a few days. I have a very low grade fever today. Please pray that I make it through without needing to go to the hospital. Uggh!! It has been great to be home this time. I've been able to see the girls and talk to them and be more in touch and available to them for whatever they need except for taking them around town. Jim gets that job. LOL
Thanks again to everyone who has continued to provide meals for us during this difficult time. The family has enjoyed them.
We had a healing service on the 7th at church and I managed to go before my white cell counts dropped. Prior to going God gave me Mark 10 in the bible. I don't have my bible near me so I can't remember the exact verses for you but its at the end of the chapter where the blind beggar asked Jesus to heal him. The blind man had faith the Jesus could heal. He asked for it. He got up from where he was and went to Jesus. Jesus asked him what he wanted, like He didn't know, but it was important for the blind beggar to ask. The blind beggar asked for his sight and His faith made him well. I believe God wanted to remind me that I first needed the faith, but also needed to ask. We sometimes wonder why God doesn't help us, but we never go to him in faith and ask. I asked that I would be able to stay home from the hospital during this last nutrapenic stage. Praise God ! Its almost over and I'm still home. I've never made it so long without a fever or needing to go to the hospital during this stage. Well, except for one early on. What a great God we have that he wants us to go to him with our needs and concerns. He wants a personal connection. This Christmas season be blessed to know we have a savior who loves us and is concerned about our needs and he was born on Christmas day!
Love,
Edie
I had my last round of chemo in the hospital from the 1st thru the 6th. I came home late that Saturday night. Yipee! I was bored and antsy to get home and be with my family. I've been nutrapenic for the past week. So far no fevers and hospital stays. Thanks for praying. I should be out of the nutrapenic stage in a few days. I have a very low grade fever today. Please pray that I make it through without needing to go to the hospital. Uggh!! It has been great to be home this time. I've been able to see the girls and talk to them and be more in touch and available to them for whatever they need except for taking them around town. Jim gets that job. LOL
Thanks again to everyone who has continued to provide meals for us during this difficult time. The family has enjoyed them.
We had a healing service on the 7th at church and I managed to go before my white cell counts dropped. Prior to going God gave me Mark 10 in the bible. I don't have my bible near me so I can't remember the exact verses for you but its at the end of the chapter where the blind beggar asked Jesus to heal him. The blind man had faith the Jesus could heal. He asked for it. He got up from where he was and went to Jesus. Jesus asked him what he wanted, like He didn't know, but it was important for the blind beggar to ask. The blind beggar asked for his sight and His faith made him well. I believe God wanted to remind me that I first needed the faith, but also needed to ask. We sometimes wonder why God doesn't help us, but we never go to him in faith and ask. I asked that I would be able to stay home from the hospital during this last nutrapenic stage. Praise God ! Its almost over and I'm still home. I've never made it so long without a fever or needing to go to the hospital during this stage. Well, except for one early on. What a great God we have that he wants us to go to him with our needs and concerns. He wants a personal connection. This Christmas season be blessed to know we have a savior who loves us and is concerned about our needs and he was born on Christmas day!
Love,
Edie
Friday, November 21, 2008
Overwhelmed With Blessings
"Overwhelmed with blessings" was the title of the devotional I read yesterday. It really sums up how I feel. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful family and incredible friends. My brothers hosted a benefit dinner for us this past Saturday. I know many of you were there but for those who weren't and those who were, I want you all to know what a blessing it was to me and my family. There were about 250 people. The love and generosity that was given has touched my heart and overwhelmed me. It is still kind of surreal. Some of you have asked if the account is going to remain open. Yes, we are keeping it open for a while for anyone who might be led to donate. Thank you to all who made donations. I really feel blessed and loved my your support. I pray that you would be doubly blessed in return for your generosity and faithfulness.
This has been a good week physically. I'm feeling stronger and am trying to build up my endurance and nutrition in preparation for this last treatment. Please pray it goes well, with no complications. The last treatment is known as the most difficult due to how weak my body is going into it as a result of the previous Chemo treatments. I will be in the hospital for treatments from the 1st through about the 6th. I'm praying its my last inpatient hospitalization and I don't go back in when I'm nutrapenic. :-)
Many of you have asked me how I can be so positive, or not complain about having Leukemia. I have my moments, as we all do, but I always go back to the hope I have in Christ. There is no reason for me to fear life or death. I know that God is in control of all things, including me having Leukemia. I'm not saying he gave me Leukemia, but what I am saying is that He allowed it and is using it in my life for much greater purposes. God has been teaching me so much about himself, myself, and is working in the lives of others through this as well. I have even been able to encourage and minister to others as a result of the Leukemia in ways I never would have been able to. Here's the thing; If I die, I will be in heaven with my savior with no sorrow or fears, etc... He loves my daughters and husband and will take care of them and will use it for their good and His glory as he promises in Romans 8:28-29. However, I do not believe that is God's plan for me at this time. Rather, I believe he has a greater purpose for me to accomplish and that is living out my faith for Him in such a way that it brings others to know Him more. I'm sorry, but you will still be overcome with fear and anxiety about the stresses in your life unless you Know God. I'm not talking about knowing who he is but really knowing Him in a personal relationship like you have with your best friend. Many of you might be stressed out over finances, or raising your kids (teenagers especially) , your health or the health of a loved one, but whatever it may be, there is a God who says to cast ( throw) your burdens on Him, because he loves you. His burden is light. When I hold onto my fears and worries I'm sure to be overcome by them unless I ask God to take them. He promises to help you. He promises to strengthen and give you hope. He promises to protect and defend. He promises all of these things to those who Love Him. When you love God, you put him first. You say, I trust you and will follow you all of my days. You acknowledge that His way is better, He knows better than you. You stop looking at your circumstances from your small perspective and begin to see things from God's point of view, which is a much larger perspective. You begin to see His purposes and your peace that surpasses all understanding guards your heart against doubts and fears and worry. I have referred to many verses from the Bible. 2 Peter 5:7, Phil 4:6-8, Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 41:10-11, John 15: 5-11. I encourage you to look them up. Memorize them, think on them and let them comfort you or give you a new hope. This is where I find my strength. This is where I get my perspective on life and death and love. This is where I find peace in the midst of a storm or a valley of the shadow of death.
Be Blessed!
Love, Edie
This has been a good week physically. I'm feeling stronger and am trying to build up my endurance and nutrition in preparation for this last treatment. Please pray it goes well, with no complications. The last treatment is known as the most difficult due to how weak my body is going into it as a result of the previous Chemo treatments. I will be in the hospital for treatments from the 1st through about the 6th. I'm praying its my last inpatient hospitalization and I don't go back in when I'm nutrapenic. :-)
Many of you have asked me how I can be so positive, or not complain about having Leukemia. I have my moments, as we all do, but I always go back to the hope I have in Christ. There is no reason for me to fear life or death. I know that God is in control of all things, including me having Leukemia. I'm not saying he gave me Leukemia, but what I am saying is that He allowed it and is using it in my life for much greater purposes. God has been teaching me so much about himself, myself, and is working in the lives of others through this as well. I have even been able to encourage and minister to others as a result of the Leukemia in ways I never would have been able to. Here's the thing; If I die, I will be in heaven with my savior with no sorrow or fears, etc... He loves my daughters and husband and will take care of them and will use it for their good and His glory as he promises in Romans 8:28-29. However, I do not believe that is God's plan for me at this time. Rather, I believe he has a greater purpose for me to accomplish and that is living out my faith for Him in such a way that it brings others to know Him more. I'm sorry, but you will still be overcome with fear and anxiety about the stresses in your life unless you Know God. I'm not talking about knowing who he is but really knowing Him in a personal relationship like you have with your best friend. Many of you might be stressed out over finances, or raising your kids (teenagers especially) , your health or the health of a loved one, but whatever it may be, there is a God who says to cast ( throw) your burdens on Him, because he loves you. His burden is light. When I hold onto my fears and worries I'm sure to be overcome by them unless I ask God to take them. He promises to help you. He promises to strengthen and give you hope. He promises to protect and defend. He promises all of these things to those who Love Him. When you love God, you put him first. You say, I trust you and will follow you all of my days. You acknowledge that His way is better, He knows better than you. You stop looking at your circumstances from your small perspective and begin to see things from God's point of view, which is a much larger perspective. You begin to see His purposes and your peace that surpasses all understanding guards your heart against doubts and fears and worry. I have referred to many verses from the Bible. 2 Peter 5:7, Phil 4:6-8, Romans 8:28, Jeremiah 29:11, Isaiah 41:10-11, John 15: 5-11. I encourage you to look them up. Memorize them, think on them and let them comfort you or give you a new hope. This is where I find my strength. This is where I get my perspective on life and death and love. This is where I find peace in the midst of a storm or a valley of the shadow of death.
Be Blessed!
Love, Edie
Friday, November 7, 2008
Feeling a little better
Hi Everyone! Thank You for your prayers and support!
It's been a long hard road the last few weeks. I did come home on Tuesday, but I spiked another fever by that afternoon. The good news was that I did not need to go back to the hospital, because I was no longer nutrapenic and less at risk. The bad news was I was still stuck to my bed. I feel like I've been on a short leash and the furthest it reaches is to the bathroom and my bed. My back hurts and my chest is tight when I take a deep breath because my lungs haven't had a chance to fully expand because I've been stuck to my bed. My legs have needed rubbing so they don't clot. My fevers broke on Thursday. The highest it got on Thursday was 99.4 which is not bad. Today has been a good start. No fevers! I might even try venturing out of my house. I really need to walk around to let my lungs recover and gets some circulation going again. I think the hardest part is not being able to get things done and do things with the girls and needing to be so dependent on everyone else.
It has been a frustrating and sometimes scary time, but God is still showing me my issues of control and need to surrender to His will. That being said, I have full confidence in His faithfulness, His provision, and protection of my family, but its a daily reminding myself of the Truth of Who God is and What He promises to do. Its a that moment I can surrender and Know that God is good all the time. Its then that I am reminded that He is in control and I don't need to be, what I need to be is dependant on Him. There are so many unknowns and a variety of mini-crisis going on in my life but I see God at Work and its okay. Most of you know how music is a big part of my life. God uses it often to speak to me. Sara Groves has a song called "He's always been faithful". Its such a beautiful song I wish I knew how to put a link on my blog with that song for you to hear. There's a line in there where she says " this is my anthem, this is my song...." referring to His faithfulness, that is how I feel. I met Sara Groves once. I took Julia to see her in concert on her birthday. We were front row, it was awesome. I had a friend who was sort of related to Sara and we were invited back to meet her. She shared her life verse with Julia which happens to be mine so I have always felt a kindred spirit to Sara, her music really speaks to me. If your now wondering what the verse is, its Isaiah 41:9-10 You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth and called from its remotest parts. And said to you " You are my servant. I have chosen you and not rejected you. Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Have a blessed Day!
Love, Edie
It's been a long hard road the last few weeks. I did come home on Tuesday, but I spiked another fever by that afternoon. The good news was that I did not need to go back to the hospital, because I was no longer nutrapenic and less at risk. The bad news was I was still stuck to my bed. I feel like I've been on a short leash and the furthest it reaches is to the bathroom and my bed. My back hurts and my chest is tight when I take a deep breath because my lungs haven't had a chance to fully expand because I've been stuck to my bed. My legs have needed rubbing so they don't clot. My fevers broke on Thursday. The highest it got on Thursday was 99.4 which is not bad. Today has been a good start. No fevers! I might even try venturing out of my house. I really need to walk around to let my lungs recover and gets some circulation going again. I think the hardest part is not being able to get things done and do things with the girls and needing to be so dependent on everyone else.
It has been a frustrating and sometimes scary time, but God is still showing me my issues of control and need to surrender to His will. That being said, I have full confidence in His faithfulness, His provision, and protection of my family, but its a daily reminding myself of the Truth of Who God is and What He promises to do. Its a that moment I can surrender and Know that God is good all the time. Its then that I am reminded that He is in control and I don't need to be, what I need to be is dependant on Him. There are so many unknowns and a variety of mini-crisis going on in my life but I see God at Work and its okay. Most of you know how music is a big part of my life. God uses it often to speak to me. Sara Groves has a song called "He's always been faithful". Its such a beautiful song I wish I knew how to put a link on my blog with that song for you to hear. There's a line in there where she says " this is my anthem, this is my song...." referring to His faithfulness, that is how I feel. I met Sara Groves once. I took Julia to see her in concert on her birthday. We were front row, it was awesome. I had a friend who was sort of related to Sara and we were invited back to meet her. She shared her life verse with Julia which happens to be mine so I have always felt a kindred spirit to Sara, her music really speaks to me. If your now wondering what the verse is, its Isaiah 41:9-10 You whom I have taken from the ends of the earth and called from its remotest parts. And said to you " You are my servant. I have chosen you and not rejected you. Do not fear, for I am with you. Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you. Surely I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
Have a blessed Day!
Love, Edie
Monday, November 3, 2008
Another 'Visit' to Penn
Edie has been at Penn for a few days. She went in Thursday night and needed several pints of blood (since her hemoglobin was at 6) along with a few units of platlettes (since that was at 2). She had some type of infection in her mouth which she said won't go away until her counts come back up. Later in the day, on Saturday, they thought that she might have the shingles. I found out last night that it was not the shingles! She is in a lot of pain and the medication is making her sleepy. She was in a room with a pretty view of the city skyline. She is in another which she was excited about since she has her own microwave and exercise bike (which she commented that she wouldn't be able to use until the nausea went away).
She is hoping to come home on Tuesday to continue the recovery from this round of Chemo. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.
Respectfully, She is in 7008.
Faith
She is hoping to come home on Tuesday to continue the recovery from this round of Chemo. Please keep her and her family in your prayers.
Respectfully, She is in 7008.
Faith
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Home from the hospital
Hi Everyone! It's good to be home from the hospital. My stay was brief and uncomplicated. Everything seemed to go smoothly with the Chemo. My counts will drop sometime over the week-end and that's when I'll feel the effects of the Chemo. They say this round and the next one are more difficult because my body is so run down. Please pray for a fever free recovery without any complications. It takes about 20 days for my counts to recover, I'm counting the days and they haven't even began. LOL I hate having to stay put and being so tired all the time.
Tuesday night I stopped by Commerce to visit my friends from work. It was great to see everyone! The famous questions were "How was I feeling? and When was I coming back?" If I could be there yesterday I would. I miss work. I like what I do, I like the people, and the money is much better than collecting disability, which is like half your pay. Ugghh. I am really looking forward to recovering from my last round and getting on with life again. However, I do have some new perspectives, hard learned patience and a dependency on seeking God's direction for my life and not my own. I'm so stubborn and driven that I didn't even listen to my bodies warning signs that I was sick.
In life we can get so caught up with our own goals and dreams that we have side blinders to what God's goals and dreams are for us. We can pursue good things that turn into bad things for our health or marriage or kids, etc... because we focused on what we want and not the bigger picture. For instance; we could be driven to be financially successful, but in the race for success and financial freedom our relationships begin to suffer. We spend less time investing in the people in our lives; our marriage begins to suffer if not crumble, our kids begin to disrespect and detach and learn the independent way void of wise counsel and guidance, and we find ourselves with fewer friends, if we even have the time for them. Lastly, our own health begins to reap what we've sown and suffers as well.
I've been thinking about some of the goals and dreams I have and what to do develop them; A joy filled passionate marriage, Kids who communicate well and are educated and have a heart for following Christ in all the areas of their lives. Continued opportunity for youth ministry development and financial freedom. There have been times when the order of these priorities and goals where way out of sink. Balance is important, taking care of your health is important, daily following God for direction on how to accomplish these goals and dreams is extremely vital to the mission. If there is one theme I've gotten from God it is Relationships first. My first relationship is with God and all else filters out from there. Matt 6:33 But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." What was being talked about in reference to all these things, was the things I mentioned. What we worry about; money, clothes, prosperity, health, etc....But God knows we need those things, He wants a relationship with us first. Seek Him First and the rest will fall into place. Read Matt 6:19-34 for a fuller picture.
Love, Edie
Tuesday night I stopped by Commerce to visit my friends from work. It was great to see everyone! The famous questions were "How was I feeling? and When was I coming back?" If I could be there yesterday I would. I miss work. I like what I do, I like the people, and the money is much better than collecting disability, which is like half your pay. Ugghh. I am really looking forward to recovering from my last round and getting on with life again. However, I do have some new perspectives, hard learned patience and a dependency on seeking God's direction for my life and not my own. I'm so stubborn and driven that I didn't even listen to my bodies warning signs that I was sick.
In life we can get so caught up with our own goals and dreams that we have side blinders to what God's goals and dreams are for us. We can pursue good things that turn into bad things for our health or marriage or kids, etc... because we focused on what we want and not the bigger picture. For instance; we could be driven to be financially successful, but in the race for success and financial freedom our relationships begin to suffer. We spend less time investing in the people in our lives; our marriage begins to suffer if not crumble, our kids begin to disrespect and detach and learn the independent way void of wise counsel and guidance, and we find ourselves with fewer friends, if we even have the time for them. Lastly, our own health begins to reap what we've sown and suffers as well.
I've been thinking about some of the goals and dreams I have and what to do develop them; A joy filled passionate marriage, Kids who communicate well and are educated and have a heart for following Christ in all the areas of their lives. Continued opportunity for youth ministry development and financial freedom. There have been times when the order of these priorities and goals where way out of sink. Balance is important, taking care of your health is important, daily following God for direction on how to accomplish these goals and dreams is extremely vital to the mission. If there is one theme I've gotten from God it is Relationships first. My first relationship is with God and all else filters out from there. Matt 6:33 But seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you." What was being talked about in reference to all these things, was the things I mentioned. What we worry about; money, clothes, prosperity, health, etc....But God knows we need those things, He wants a relationship with us first. Seek Him First and the rest will fall into place. Read Matt 6:19-34 for a fuller picture.
Love, Edie
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Brief Stay at the Hospital
Hi Everyone!
Sorry I don't update more often :-( My computer has been on the fritz lately and I haven't been feeling the greatest either. About a week and a half ago I had low grade fevers that kept me in my bed. I didn't start feeling good until last Saturday. I ventured out to a fall festival my daughters school was having; I lasted about an hour and a half and came home and napped the rest of the day. LOL Since then I've been feeling better, just tired. I needed two blood transfusions when I got to the hospital for my Chemo stay, that would account for the tiredness :-) The Chemo is going well so far. My picline is a little irritated though. Please pray that it clears up so that they don't pull it again. Ugggh! I would hate to have another line put in. I only have one more round of Chemo in December. Yipee! The picline is important because its how I get the Chemo, but its also necessary if I get nutrapenic fevers and need to be hospitalized like I've been in the past. These next two rounds could be more difficult and all the more reason for me to have a line in. I will be nutrapenic by next weekend and it will not pass for about two weeks or so. Please pray that I make it through without fevers and needing to me hospitalized.
Sorry I don't update more often :-( My computer has been on the fritz lately and I haven't been feeling the greatest either. About a week and a half ago I had low grade fevers that kept me in my bed. I didn't start feeling good until last Saturday. I ventured out to a fall festival my daughters school was having; I lasted about an hour and a half and came home and napped the rest of the day. LOL Since then I've been feeling better, just tired. I needed two blood transfusions when I got to the hospital for my Chemo stay, that would account for the tiredness :-) The Chemo is going well so far. My picline is a little irritated though. Please pray that it clears up so that they don't pull it again. Ugggh! I would hate to have another line put in. I only have one more round of Chemo in December. Yipee! The picline is important because its how I get the Chemo, but its also necessary if I get nutrapenic fevers and need to be hospitalized like I've been in the past. These next two rounds could be more difficult and all the more reason for me to have a line in. I will be nutrapenic by next weekend and it will not pass for about two weeks or so. Please pray that I make it through without fevers and needing to me hospitalized.
God is always teaching me something if I'm willing to listen. haha. I'm in a shared room and not the window side. The woman I'm sharing my room with is very sick with liver cancer. (Pray for her, she doesn't have a lot of treatment options from the sounds of it.) Okay, so my point was that when I first learned I was in a shared room, I wasn't happy. I can be a bit high maintenance. ( another humbling confession, LOL) I did not want to share a room or a bathroom. I wipe down the room and am crazy meticulous in my own room! How am I going to deal seeing someone else's specimens in the bathroom, etc....? I wanted out and then heard a small voice say to me that this will build character and I could minister to this woman. Of Course! I'm so selfish sometimes. I want to minister to who I want, when I want, and where I want. God calls us to join Him where He is at work. As I looked at how pathetic my thinking was I thought how would God be able to put me anywhere to minister if I have so many demands and special needs (comfort, ease, safety, cleanliness, etc..) Well, that's called stinkin thinkin. Anyway, its been a pleasure to share my room. I have tried to encourage this woman. I have shared my new diet with her husband, and I have prayed for her when I hear her suffering.
I don't want to miss out on anything God is trying to teach me. Leukemia has only been a catalyst for God to get at the real issues in my heart. Have you ever let God at the real issues in your heart???
Love, Edie
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Blessed but bored!
This past week I've been more tired than I'd like to be. I go back in on October 16th for another round of Chemo. If all goes well I'll be home from the hospital by the 21st. When I have this time at home and I'm not neutropenic I want to get so much done and do so many things with the girls and Jim and friends, but I'm slowed down by my health. Ugghh. It's not easy when your what I've been called; Super A type personality. I tried to walk on the treadmill today at 3.0 speed and barely lasted 5 minutes I was soooo out of breath. LOL So, I'll take it slower and plan out visits with friends and make sure I nap before hand :-) Saturday night Jim and I went out with friends for dinner and then they came back to play Phase 10 until 11pm. I was so excited I lasted, of course I did nap for 2.5 hours before we went out. Ha ha ha.
I met this incredible nurse, Tonya on my doctors visit Thursday. She was such an blessing to me. She encouraged me and spoke prophetically to me and prayed over me right there in the office! God is using this forced rest to teach me many things and has brought several people in my life to support what God is doing in my life. As I mentioned in my last update, I have felt major pruning and God prompting me to give up somethings I was holding on to. On this leg of the journey HE's been teaching me about forgiveness and surrender. I have always thought of myself as very forgiving, but I struggle with surrender. When you think you can do it all and your way is the right way its not easy to surrender to another plan. ( a major confession, LOL :-) This has been a major turning point in my journey. My forgiveness for someone was wrapped up in my need to surrender to God what God's call on my life is and that it really is better than mine. He has my plans in there but after I surrender to somethings I felt justified to hold onto and angered to think of letting them go. I was comfortable eating onions and living in slavery so to speak, a reference to the Israelites when they were complaining and wanted to go back to Egypt not long after being rescued and being told they would enter the promised land. How dumb is that! I came across a song by the Barlow Girls that has really spoken to my heart and tells my story in this part of the journey. It has made me want to sing again and play my guitar. ( so my jamming friends, please feel free to visit so we can play again :-)
Here are the the lyrics to Here's My Life by the Barlow Girls. "Once again I said my goodbyes... To those I love most.. My heart feels that familiar pain.. As I long for home.. Cause this road is hard.. When I feel so far.. God I'm crying out tonight... Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind.. So once more here's my life...
On the day that You called my name... All that I knew changed.. I found when I said yes, that I'd never be the same... Though the Call is hard... You are worth it all.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind... So once more here's my life.. Even when the tears are falling.. When I find I fear the Calling.. You remind me.. Words you've spoken over my life.. Promises I've yet to see.. You comfort me.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind. .. So once more here's my life.... You comfort me...."
Hope you have a Blessed day!
Love,
~Edie
I met this incredible nurse, Tonya on my doctors visit Thursday. She was such an blessing to me. She encouraged me and spoke prophetically to me and prayed over me right there in the office! God is using this forced rest to teach me many things and has brought several people in my life to support what God is doing in my life. As I mentioned in my last update, I have felt major pruning and God prompting me to give up somethings I was holding on to. On this leg of the journey HE's been teaching me about forgiveness and surrender. I have always thought of myself as very forgiving, but I struggle with surrender. When you think you can do it all and your way is the right way its not easy to surrender to another plan. ( a major confession, LOL :-) This has been a major turning point in my journey. My forgiveness for someone was wrapped up in my need to surrender to God what God's call on my life is and that it really is better than mine. He has my plans in there but after I surrender to somethings I felt justified to hold onto and angered to think of letting them go. I was comfortable eating onions and living in slavery so to speak, a reference to the Israelites when they were complaining and wanted to go back to Egypt not long after being rescued and being told they would enter the promised land. How dumb is that! I came across a song by the Barlow Girls that has really spoken to my heart and tells my story in this part of the journey. It has made me want to sing again and play my guitar. ( so my jamming friends, please feel free to visit so we can play again :-)
Here are the the lyrics to Here's My Life by the Barlow Girls. "Once again I said my goodbyes... To those I love most.. My heart feels that familiar pain.. As I long for home.. Cause this road is hard.. When I feel so far.. God I'm crying out tonight... Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind.. So once more here's my life...
On the day that You called my name... All that I knew changed.. I found when I said yes, that I'd never be the same... Though the Call is hard... You are worth it all.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind... So once more here's my life.. Even when the tears are falling.. When I find I fear the Calling.. You remind me.. Words you've spoken over my life.. Promises I've yet to see.. You comfort me.. God I'm crying out tonight.. Cause I've given you my life.. But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind. .. So once more here's my life.... You comfort me...."
Hope you have a Blessed day!
Love,
~Edie
Monday, September 29, 2008
Made it through the Neutropenic Stage
Sorry I haven't updated since the 12th, but I really have had a rough time of it lately. I came home from the hospital with my new picline on the 17th and then tried to prepare for Megan's 15th Birthday. I told her she could have a few friends over that Saturday the 20th. It was a great party, more kids that I expected though. I gave Meg a hard time of it, although I shouldn't have, everyone had fun and they were a great group of kids. I thought my counts would still be up and I would still have strength. I was more frustrated I couldn't enjoy it as much because I was weak. I was an idiot and raked for a few minutes Saturday morning and well... caused my pickline to begin leaking a little and that was the beginning of a scary time. Neutropenia came a little sooner and I need some transfusions on Tuesday. They saw my pickline and informed me if the redness got worse we would have to pull it and of course if I got a fever Iwas to come right into the ER. Ughh. From Tuesday night to Friday night I battled low grade fevers. I'm supposed to go to the ER with anything over 100.4 but the doctor let me slide knowing I did not want to be at the hospital. He raised the limit to 101.1 I actually hit that on Thursday, but drank a couple of bottles of water, called out to some prayer warrior friends and waited a half hour to check my temp. Praise God! it went down to 100.1 Yipee I stayed home and my fever teetered around 100.3 on Friday but by Saturday morning I was back around 97.6 . All week I ate nothing but whole foods, drank lots of water and took juice plus supplements. I guess there's something to this way of eating that made a difference. I stayed home and was able to fight off the fevers on my own. I'm sold!
In addition to being bound to my bed fighting fevers, I've been on an emotional roller coaster facing hard questions about what I've done with my life thus far; have I been a good mother? good wife? OOOOH they are tough things to look at and see my failures and wonder was there enough good. Natalie Grant's song the Real Me has been a comfort to me, and a good friend recommended Jim read for me Psalm 86. I had him read it over and over. You know the verse where Jesus says "deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me."(Matt 16:24) Its more like die to self which is very painful, but it promises to yield something more beautiful His work in our life and plan, which is GOOD. He Loves us and wants the best for us, just like we do for our own kids. I'm holding on to the more beautiful. I'm trusting that the vine dresser knows how to shape me into something beautiful, because he's cut off some of my branches.. even ones that had some fruit. (John 15) I'm going to follow His lead because mine hasn't always been good fruit. I can't promise it will be easy, but I'm pressing on.
Love, Edie
In addition to being bound to my bed fighting fevers, I've been on an emotional roller coaster facing hard questions about what I've done with my life thus far; have I been a good mother? good wife? OOOOH they are tough things to look at and see my failures and wonder was there enough good. Natalie Grant's song the Real Me has been a comfort to me, and a good friend recommended Jim read for me Psalm 86. I had him read it over and over. You know the verse where Jesus says "deny yourself, take up your cross and follow me."(Matt 16:24) Its more like die to self which is very painful, but it promises to yield something more beautiful His work in our life and plan, which is GOOD. He Loves us and wants the best for us, just like we do for our own kids. I'm holding on to the more beautiful. I'm trusting that the vine dresser knows how to shape me into something beautiful, because he's cut off some of my branches.. even ones that had some fruit. (John 15) I'm going to follow His lead because mine hasn't always been good fruit. I can't promise it will be easy, but I'm pressing on.
Love, Edie
Friday, September 12, 2008
Third round of Chemo
Thank you for your encouraging comments about the Bald and the Beautiful. haha . It was fun doing it :-)
I'm back in the hospital with my third round of Chemo. There are two left to go. December can't come fast enough, but it won't be until January that I start getting my strength back. I was dreading coming here this week. I've experienced some nausea and tiredness, but the worst part was that I needed to have a pickline put back in my arm. Its a little traumatizing for me. I was taking a stand against it, but my doc and the nurse just had to remind me that when I become neutropenic again, its a serious time. If I get a fever and they can't get the meds in me soon enough over a pickline, that would not be good. People die during the neurtopenic fevers and I don't plan on doing that, God Willing. I do believe God has shown me an old way to eat, but its very new to me. The more I learn about Whole Foods Cooking the more I'll pass on or give you resources to learn what could change around so many health issues like Cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc...
The past week was a bit rough and I was not up for updating my posts. I was taken further into the Valley of the Shadow of Death; figuratively speaking :-) But really I'm there. At first the fear was too much. I don't want to be broken, I'm not sure if I'm going the right direction. I know the Shepherd is reaching out for me, but it looks so dark and hard of a road to travel. The light on the other side is so far away. How do I do this? That's the first thing God answers, It's not your strength but mine, I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Light, rely on me and you will get to the other side and experience the blessings that have been waiting for you, if you want to come along and receive them. I have a choice to follow what I know is Right and best for me, why would I choose anything less. In my devotional for that day, I read Luke 5:5 Returning to your Failure , September 9th in the Experiencing God day by day , written by Henry Blackaby Here is a brief excerpt from it; "No one knows how to help you in your times of failure as Jesus does! He will not overlook your shortcomings or simply encourage you to do better the next time. He will give you victory in the midst of your failure.......................Jesus often gets you undivided attention when you fail. He sometimes takes you back to your placed of defeat in order to build something good into your life. You may assume Ye must not want you to continue because you failed so miserable in your attempt. Perhaps your problem was that you relied on your own strength instead of the Master's. Maybe you failed in a relationship. Jesus will not allow you to abandon it; He will help you learn from your failure and experience the difference He can make when He guides your relationships. Whey you try in God's strength, you may discover that success is indeed within your grasp. If you have recently experienced failure, you may be on the brink of receiving a profound revelation from God!" I closed the book and said "Shut Up" Why would I say such a thing? I'm very stubborn and God cleary spoke to my heart and was telling me I needed to surrender my heart to His, and I actually had to wrestle with it. Go figure! Just so you know, I'm not wrestling with it so much now, but its a hard process, like the refiners fire, or the gardener pruining their crop, or being carried through the valley of the shadow of death. There is a dying involved any way you look at it, but the end result is something Beautiful.
Love hearing from you all! Thanks for your support and prayers!
~Edie
I'm back in the hospital with my third round of Chemo. There are two left to go. December can't come fast enough, but it won't be until January that I start getting my strength back. I was dreading coming here this week. I've experienced some nausea and tiredness, but the worst part was that I needed to have a pickline put back in my arm. Its a little traumatizing for me. I was taking a stand against it, but my doc and the nurse just had to remind me that when I become neutropenic again, its a serious time. If I get a fever and they can't get the meds in me soon enough over a pickline, that would not be good. People die during the neurtopenic fevers and I don't plan on doing that, God Willing. I do believe God has shown me an old way to eat, but its very new to me. The more I learn about Whole Foods Cooking the more I'll pass on or give you resources to learn what could change around so many health issues like Cancer, diabetes, heart disease, etc...
The past week was a bit rough and I was not up for updating my posts. I was taken further into the Valley of the Shadow of Death; figuratively speaking :-) But really I'm there. At first the fear was too much. I don't want to be broken, I'm not sure if I'm going the right direction. I know the Shepherd is reaching out for me, but it looks so dark and hard of a road to travel. The light on the other side is so far away. How do I do this? That's the first thing God answers, It's not your strength but mine, I am the Way, and the Truth, and the Light, rely on me and you will get to the other side and experience the blessings that have been waiting for you, if you want to come along and receive them. I have a choice to follow what I know is Right and best for me, why would I choose anything less. In my devotional for that day, I read Luke 5:5 Returning to your Failure , September 9th in the Experiencing God day by day , written by Henry Blackaby Here is a brief excerpt from it; "No one knows how to help you in your times of failure as Jesus does! He will not overlook your shortcomings or simply encourage you to do better the next time. He will give you victory in the midst of your failure.......................Jesus often gets you undivided attention when you fail. He sometimes takes you back to your placed of defeat in order to build something good into your life. You may assume Ye must not want you to continue because you failed so miserable in your attempt. Perhaps your problem was that you relied on your own strength instead of the Master's. Maybe you failed in a relationship. Jesus will not allow you to abandon it; He will help you learn from your failure and experience the difference He can make when He guides your relationships. Whey you try in God's strength, you may discover that success is indeed within your grasp. If you have recently experienced failure, you may be on the brink of receiving a profound revelation from God!" I closed the book and said "Shut Up" Why would I say such a thing? I'm very stubborn and God cleary spoke to my heart and was telling me I needed to surrender my heart to His, and I actually had to wrestle with it. Go figure! Just so you know, I'm not wrestling with it so much now, but its a hard process, like the refiners fire, or the gardener pruining their crop, or being carried through the valley of the shadow of death. There is a dying involved any way you look at it, but the end result is something Beautiful.
Love hearing from you all! Thanks for your support and prayers!
~Edie
Friday, September 5, 2008
Feeling Giddy
I'm laughing at myself today. I can't believe I'm watching videos on grocery shopping and cooking whole foods and liking it. Thanks Heather for the resources! I bought Christina Pirello's book "Cooking the Whole Foods Way" and I couldn't put it down. She is a survivor of Leukemia. Her leukemia was even more aggressive than mine and she was given 9-12 months to live 24 years ago. She did not receive chemo but began eating a macrobiotic diet consisting of lots of organic vegi's and fruits. I feel so encouraged by her story which is similar to so many others that I've heard, particularly one in our church family, Beth Schroeder. I'm going over Beth's tonight so she can do a little show and tell with some of the ingredients and vegi's I've never heard of. I really don't cook to begin with so this is Huge for me.
As I mentioned, I also posted a couple of new pictures:-) Thank You Andrea Busam for your beautiful photography work. One is my bald head and the other is a wig I had made to match my hair cut and color before I lost my hair. I usually wear a baseball cap or go bald, but the wig is great for special occasions. I want to encourage other women who are either going through treatment or may some day find themselves diagnosed with cancer and fearing the mark of beauty; their hair. Please note BALD IS BEAUTIFUL. I've heard that said by a few. You can be bald and beautiful. First remember beauty is from within and shines out! My shiny head is glowing with a peace and contentment that God has placed from within.
I will try to stay updated again. I go back in for my next round of Chemo on September 11th. I've been doing some moderate exercise to try and help build up my stamina. This journey has been full of emotions, trials and laughter. Right now I feel I'm on the part of the roller coaster that drops and you through your hands up and laugh and scream all the way down. Maybe its the increased endorphins from exercise.... Maybe it's God!
Love You! Have a Blessed Day :-)
~Edie
As I mentioned, I also posted a couple of new pictures:-) Thank You Andrea Busam for your beautiful photography work. One is my bald head and the other is a wig I had made to match my hair cut and color before I lost my hair. I usually wear a baseball cap or go bald, but the wig is great for special occasions. I want to encourage other women who are either going through treatment or may some day find themselves diagnosed with cancer and fearing the mark of beauty; their hair. Please note BALD IS BEAUTIFUL. I've heard that said by a few. You can be bald and beautiful. First remember beauty is from within and shines out! My shiny head is glowing with a peace and contentment that God has placed from within.
I will try to stay updated again. I go back in for my next round of Chemo on September 11th. I've been doing some moderate exercise to try and help build up my stamina. This journey has been full of emotions, trials and laughter. Right now I feel I'm on the part of the roller coaster that drops and you through your hands up and laugh and scream all the way down. Maybe its the increased endorphins from exercise.... Maybe it's God!
Love You! Have a Blessed Day :-)
~Edie
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Quick Update
Hello Everyone!
Well, we enjoyed our mini-vacation at the shore. I did not go on the wave runner; though tempting. My body and mind aren't matching. I'm ready to go full steam ahead, but my body is a slow as snail. LOL... That being said, I have done some research and have been talking to several people about nutrition and recovery. I have found that this past round of chemo was more difficult than I anticipated and now I don't look forward to the next three. The recovery has been slower this time. There is much evidence to support nutrition as a very powerful resource for overcoming great odds and beating cancer. It will also help me recover quicker and provide me with more energy and strength through each coming round of chemo. The hard part is that I need to cut sugar out of my diet, and that includes white flour products. I also need to eat lots and lots of vegi's and fruits. Those of you who know me well, know how hard this will be for me. I love sugar. I'm a sugar addict. I start my day with a large coke from McD's and move on to tastey cakes! Don't ask me why I'm still moderately thin eating that way, but the last two years its been catching up with me. Obviously.... I have leukemia. So pray for me, because it is very hard for me to eat this way even though my life counts on it. I can't seem to get my brain to connect that I have a life threatening illness and I need to take care of what I put in my body . I still live like I'm invincible. .. Go figure.... Although there's something to be said about a positive attitude, there is also a healthy respect of life and its mortal realities. God is in control, but we should not take it for granted.. He has provided us with His creation to eat and take care of our bodies. Just because we trust God to protect or heal us does not mean we go and drink or do drugs or jump off a cliff..... We need to act responsibly and take care of our temple that He dwells in and live in obedience to God under the umbrella of His protection. This, I need to remind my self is very relevant to eating to live not living to eat.
TTYS Love, Edie
ps( I took some photo's of me bald :-) I intend on posting them as a way to encourage other cancer survivors that Bald is Beautiful and not to be discouraged when they lose their hair.. more on that later)
Well, we enjoyed our mini-vacation at the shore. I did not go on the wave runner; though tempting. My body and mind aren't matching. I'm ready to go full steam ahead, but my body is a slow as snail. LOL... That being said, I have done some research and have been talking to several people about nutrition and recovery. I have found that this past round of chemo was more difficult than I anticipated and now I don't look forward to the next three. The recovery has been slower this time. There is much evidence to support nutrition as a very powerful resource for overcoming great odds and beating cancer. It will also help me recover quicker and provide me with more energy and strength through each coming round of chemo. The hard part is that I need to cut sugar out of my diet, and that includes white flour products. I also need to eat lots and lots of vegi's and fruits. Those of you who know me well, know how hard this will be for me. I love sugar. I'm a sugar addict. I start my day with a large coke from McD's and move on to tastey cakes! Don't ask me why I'm still moderately thin eating that way, but the last two years its been catching up with me. Obviously.... I have leukemia. So pray for me, because it is very hard for me to eat this way even though my life counts on it. I can't seem to get my brain to connect that I have a life threatening illness and I need to take care of what I put in my body . I still live like I'm invincible. .. Go figure.... Although there's something to be said about a positive attitude, there is also a healthy respect of life and its mortal realities. God is in control, but we should not take it for granted.. He has provided us with His creation to eat and take care of our bodies. Just because we trust God to protect or heal us does not mean we go and drink or do drugs or jump off a cliff..... We need to act responsibly and take care of our temple that He dwells in and live in obedience to God under the umbrella of His protection. This, I need to remind my self is very relevant to eating to live not living to eat.
TTYS Love, Edie
ps( I took some photo's of me bald :-) I intend on posting them as a way to encourage other cancer survivors that Bald is Beautiful and not to be discouraged when they lose their hair.. more on that later)
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Catching Up
Hi Everyone!
It's good to be home. I wish I could say I have rested, but I've been trying to finish up the last loose ends preparing for the first day of school for Megan and Julia. We have had fun doing it though :-)
I'm still in a lot of pain, but not the level I experienced in the hospital. Pray for a speedy recovery. We are taking a mini vacation down the shore in my brothers place for a few days next week. The good thing is now that my pickline is out, I can enjoy the beach and ocean. The bad thing is if I'm not fully healed from my infections, it will limit some of my activities. Julia wants me to take her out on a wave runner, and I only know one speed; Full Throttle! LOL
Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. This last round has been more testing to my endurance and has caused me to not look forward to the next three. I have also had the normal life stresses weighing heavy on my heart. However, I know God is faithful. Trusting God is not something that comes naturally, its a discipline. We can choose to go it alone or give it to God. We need to continually remind ourselves of Who God is, What He has done for you in the past, and What He Promises to do. This is a daily process. Sometimes I find it easier to trust God in the big things and want to hold on to the little things that I feel I have more control over. Any of you do the same? If you know the story of the Israelites, then you know that we are not alone. They witnessed big miracles from God but when trouble or famine would set in they would forget Who God is and What He has done and promised to do. Don't lose hope when you doubt, but instead take some time to renew your mind and set your eyes upward and look to Christ. It will change your perspective and renew your hope and give you new strength to press on.
Love you all!
~Edie
It's good to be home. I wish I could say I have rested, but I've been trying to finish up the last loose ends preparing for the first day of school for Megan and Julia. We have had fun doing it though :-)
I'm still in a lot of pain, but not the level I experienced in the hospital. Pray for a speedy recovery. We are taking a mini vacation down the shore in my brothers place for a few days next week. The good thing is now that my pickline is out, I can enjoy the beach and ocean. The bad thing is if I'm not fully healed from my infections, it will limit some of my activities. Julia wants me to take her out on a wave runner, and I only know one speed; Full Throttle! LOL
Thank you all for your continued prayers and support. This last round has been more testing to my endurance and has caused me to not look forward to the next three. I have also had the normal life stresses weighing heavy on my heart. However, I know God is faithful. Trusting God is not something that comes naturally, its a discipline. We can choose to go it alone or give it to God. We need to continually remind ourselves of Who God is, What He has done for you in the past, and What He Promises to do. This is a daily process. Sometimes I find it easier to trust God in the big things and want to hold on to the little things that I feel I have more control over. Any of you do the same? If you know the story of the Israelites, then you know that we are not alone. They witnessed big miracles from God but when trouble or famine would set in they would forget Who God is and What He has done and promised to do. Don't lose hope when you doubt, but instead take some time to renew your mind and set your eyes upward and look to Christ. It will change your perspective and renew your hope and give you new strength to press on.
Love you all!
~Edie
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Released - Last Night
A quick update ...
I got a text message from Edie last night and she is now at home again. Her counts came back up (I believe white cells) and in conjunction with that the fevers have stopped. Her pain level had also dropped from a 10 to a 5. Soooo ... last night they let her go home. Once I actually get to talk to her I will post more.
Keep on praying - things to keep in mind as you do ... that she will feel better and can be there(physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) for the girls as they start school the first week of September, (I know that Jim took them back to school shopping), getting to a point where she feels good for a bit before she has to go back for the next round of chemo, peace, strength.
Respectfully,
Faith
I got a text message from Edie last night and she is now at home again. Her counts came back up (I believe white cells) and in conjunction with that the fevers have stopped. Her pain level had also dropped from a 10 to a 5. Soooo ... last night they let her go home. Once I actually get to talk to her I will post more.
Keep on praying - things to keep in mind as you do ... that she will feel better and can be there(physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually) for the girls as they start school the first week of September, (I know that Jim took them back to school shopping), getting to a point where she feels good for a bit before she has to go back for the next round of chemo, peace, strength.
Respectfully,
Faith
Saturday, August 16, 2008
A New Room
Edie has been moved to room 3001. I chatted with her yesterday. Her fevers have been high, with chills and bodyaches. They removed the picline and have started her on antibiotics since they still believe that is where the infection was. Since the picline was removed she has her IV pole back. She has had some blood and platelet transfusions since she was admitted. She is slighty bored.
Respectfully,
Faith
Respectfully,
Faith
Friday, August 15, 2008
At the Hospital
I got a text message late last night from Edie. She is back at the hospital. She developed a fever "they are troubleshooting where the infection is. It might be the picline in my arm." In addition to the fever she was suffering from a migraine. She is in Rhoads 4 room 11. She thinks she will be there about a week. I am sure that I will hear more today and will let you all know as soon as I do ... assuming that there aren't thunder storms taking out our net!
Respectfully,
Faith
Respectfully,
Faith
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Good to be Home
It's been good to be home again. I am continually thankful for the love and support that my family and church family have been blessing me with:-)
Today the nurse came out to take labs and teach me how to give my self an injection. I was not real keen on learning how to stick my self with a needle. I'm a bit squimish with that stuff and tend to pass out. Good thing is I got through it and it wasn't too bad. I have to do it for 15 days. I could not imagine being diabetic and needing to do that everyday. Ughh. After dinner this evening I noticed my arm was sore than I realized every inch of me was sore, a side effect of the medicine I'm injecting to be a counteract to the Chemo side effects. I guess they exchange one evil for another lesser kind. Who knows..... LOL. Tylenol should help though. I've also began to feel a little tired, but no fevers, nausea or infections. Praise God!
2 Peter 1:3-5 " As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive his own glory and goodness! And by that same mighty power, he has given us all of his rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in his divine nature. So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better." (NLT) - Take some time to get to know Jesus better. It's Jesus that gives us all we need, we just forget that His power is at work within us and for us. Don't get stuck trying to not be anxious, or doing your best to follow God on your own strength. He has already given you all you need, just rest in His power and know His goodness and believe God is who he says he is and does what He says; Comforter, Counselor, Healer, Provider, Protector, All Powerful, Strong Tower, etc... You know what I mean.
Love,
~Edie
Today the nurse came out to take labs and teach me how to give my self an injection. I was not real keen on learning how to stick my self with a needle. I'm a bit squimish with that stuff and tend to pass out. Good thing is I got through it and it wasn't too bad. I have to do it for 15 days. I could not imagine being diabetic and needing to do that everyday. Ughh. After dinner this evening I noticed my arm was sore than I realized every inch of me was sore, a side effect of the medicine I'm injecting to be a counteract to the Chemo side effects. I guess they exchange one evil for another lesser kind. Who knows..... LOL. Tylenol should help though. I've also began to feel a little tired, but no fevers, nausea or infections. Praise God!
2 Peter 1:3-5 " As we know Jesus better, his divine power gives us everything we need for living a godly life. He has called us to receive his own glory and goodness! And by that same mighty power, he has given us all of his rich and wonderful promises. He has promised that you will escape the decadence all around you caused by evil desires and that you will share in his divine nature. So make every effort to apply the benefits of these promises to your life. Then your faith will produce a life of moral excellence. A life of moral excellence leads to knowing God better." (NLT) - Take some time to get to know Jesus better. It's Jesus that gives us all we need, we just forget that His power is at work within us and for us. Don't get stuck trying to not be anxious, or doing your best to follow God on your own strength. He has already given you all you need, just rest in His power and know His goodness and believe God is who he says he is and does what He says; Comforter, Counselor, Healer, Provider, Protector, All Powerful, Strong Tower, etc... You know what I mean.
Love,
~Edie
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Getting to Recover at Home This Time Around
I’m so excited to be coming home tonight. Although it’s late, it’s thrilling to know I will get to sleep in my own bed without interruptionsJ Tonight is my last treatment for this round of Chemo. I’m not neutropenic yet, that will come in a few days and last for about 2 weeks. Neutropenic means that my white blood cells are extremely low and I am very vulnerable to infections and experience fatigue and maybe some nausea and other common side effects from the Chemo. This treatment has been at a higher dose than last and I did have some nausea the other day, but the meds helped. Overall, my stay at the hospital has been uneventful. In fact, I’ve been quite bored. I read two books, did several puzzles, and watched a little TV. I took another walk today to PotBelly’s because my lunch was not desirable. The line at PotBelly’s was so long that I went over to McDonald’s instead. I haven’t had greasy junk food in a long time. It was more appetizing than my prepared lunch, but I think it will be a while before I do that again. LOL.
Thank you Jeanne K, Brianne G, and Lisa B for coming over to clean in preparation of my homecoming, I greatly appreciate your giving of your time and energy to bless me and my family. Thank you for all the love and support you have poured out on us.
Do you lack Peace?? Are you fearful about the “What ifs?? Do you have your spiritual armor on?? Psalm 91:1-5 reminds us that; “Those who live in the Shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare of the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I am trusting in Him. For He swill rescue you from every trap and protect you from the fatal plague. He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and protections. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor fear the dangers of the day.” God has used this passage to bring me great comfort. If you lack peace or are fearful about the “what ifs”, it may be because you are seeking your comfort, security or peace in something other than God. Your health, your job, your spouse, your friends will fall short, but the Lord God Almighty will never fail and his promises endure forever. He is faithful and will protect you and provide you with an unsurpassing peace in the midst of your trials if you would only seek Him alone and find rest in the shadow of His wings.
Love,
~Edie
Thank you Jeanne K, Brianne G, and Lisa B for coming over to clean in preparation of my homecoming, I greatly appreciate your giving of your time and energy to bless me and my family. Thank you for all the love and support you have poured out on us.
Do you lack Peace?? Are you fearful about the “What ifs?? Do you have your spiritual armor on?? Psalm 91:1-5 reminds us that; “Those who live in the Shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare of the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I am trusting in Him. For He swill rescue you from every trap and protect you from the fatal plague. He will shield you with his wings. He will shelter you with his feathers. His faithful promises are your armor and protections. Do not be afraid of the terrors of the night, nor fear the dangers of the day.” God has used this passage to bring me great comfort. If you lack peace or are fearful about the “what ifs”, it may be because you are seeking your comfort, security or peace in something other than God. Your health, your job, your spouse, your friends will fall short, but the Lord God Almighty will never fail and his promises endure forever. He is faithful and will protect you and provide you with an unsurpassing peace in the midst of your trials if you would only seek Him alone and find rest in the shadow of His wings.
Love,
~Edie
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